A Focus on The Print

Early work with Mary, Black Canyon, CO

There's no doubt this has been the most odd start of the year to date. I don't think I've spent this much time in bed since I was a little baby. I've been very careful with taking care of my knee, resting my body, and healing. But dang! Just as I was about ready to announce "I"M BACK!", I get food poisoning all of last week. This was such a weird experience. I've never been down that road before and hope to GOD, I never do. It crept up on my very slowly, but quickly...maybe analogous to sheep approaching you calmly and innocently only to burst out as wolves when they got in arms reach. I couldn't run. There was no escape. No amount of Pebto, crackers & Sprite, or any anti-whatever was going to save me from the onslaught once I recognized what it was. I didn't think it was going any further than an upset stomach. It wasn't until my mouth started watering and the stomach started some serious rumbling that I knew "Sh*t just got real".

Early work with Mary, Black Canyon, CO

So I'm just now getting over all that. "I'm Back". (Not all caps... a little muted, but nonetheless...) I'm ready to shoot. I'm ready to get outside and do some things. I can't hit the hard trails. I can't walk the distances, yet. But I can stand on my own two feet and get from point A to B slowly, but surely. I can't tell you how anxious I am to get some exposures under my belt and be backed up with new and profitable edits. I'm looking for my next art nude model as well as some of my business projects.

Now let me get back to the original topic I wanted to talk about. I've done recent talk about the portrait, to include capturing the self-portrait. I also want to give a mention to what I think is arguably the most important aspect of the photographic process... THE PRINT. This is just my humble opinion, but this is the final product and the end all of why we take a picture. Its the Print! To some aspect, you might be able to dissolve it down a bit and say the Picture is the final product, more so or just as much as the Print. However this is the difference. Today, many people will only use their pics for Facebook, Flikr, or some other online forum. And that's fine. Its just where we are today. Social media is the new tool of today and pictures are a major part of it. It cannot be denied. Hardly any of these need to be made into hard copies. They are shared in a more versatile medium and when hard prints are actually made, they are rarely sized about a 4x6 to hang up on the fridge or maybe the computer monitor. Or let me not also forget the novelty prints like on a coffee cup or key chain.

Early work with Mary, Black Canyon, CO

So while these points have their merit, I'm going to stay on the high road and concentrate my efforts to those shots that will hang on museum walls. I've said before, I consider myself as an artist first. I want to make art. Art shared should be on walls, not desktops. I want my work hung up in that important place in your home or office lobby and I want it shown in large format. I can't even tell you when the last time I had an 8x10 print made, even for my own personal work. I consider the 11x14 a small print and the smallest I'll do. But it doesn't have to be hung up on the walls. A print in a magazine will also suffice. This is why we do this.  We don't do a gig just to give away a CD of all the images and let the client make prints as they see fit. I can tell you I want to be in control of what quality of work my art is displayed in. 

Early work with Mary, Black Canyon, CO

This is the exact reason, I didn't allow my recent book, "A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011" to be printed in any other format other than the best of quality of paper. Will all my books be in this format? No. My next one will be way different, probably at less than half that price, more than likely. For now, I plan to only do my annual books like that. The next one I have coming out will be less so. I would like to do maybe three or four books a year and only one will be at the price point of my art nude annual. And books are a great use of the printed image. The single print is still tops. There's simply no comparison to a good quality, well presented print. Its got to be framed or hung in such a manner that the print is adorned. Much of my focus this year will be on perfecting my presentation on the print and I'm happy with what I've been able to accomplish so far. Now I want to push the envelope a little and reach beyond just the simply framed canvas print. That's the goal. 

And another of my goals is to get back to Colorado and to shoot Mary again. This particular trip was definitely a benchmark in my life as a photographer. The PRINTS from this shoot are much, much better than these digital scans. The prints were done by hand and a darkroom and I can tell you hours upon hours were spent perfecting each one. I loved it. Every minute was a learning experience. I'd like to get back to shoot some of the models I worked with early in my nude days and Mary ranks among the top priorities. I'd like to see what I can do with her today, six years after our first shoot. More experience and better equipment should result in even better art. I almost got to work with her again last Summer, but I got called back the same day I arrived in Colorado and unfortunately didn't get to shoot. Gotta try again.

A Study of the Self-Portrait

The whole idea of a self-portrait is strange. I’m so strongly linked to how I see through the camera that to get to the other side of it would be difficult. It would be as if I were taking a photograph in the dark. 

- Annie Leibovitz

Maybe I've worked the Self-Portrait
more than I had initially thought

Methinks it is time to vary up what I shoot for a bit. I believe I will have 3 unique concentrations throughout this year that I will use to challenge myself and explore my creativity in unfamiliar settings using the camera. For starters, I've always been uncomfortable with self-portraits. Ever since I became serious with photography, I've rarely ever aimed my lenses at myself, which is sort of odd. I'm not the kind to shy away from the camera. I was a pro model for 3 years during my undergraduate years. I was an art model getting nude for art students for about 12 years. So its not like I'm not used to being the center of attention. If anything, I think its the lack of control that comes with my inexperience in shooting myself. Its not so easy to point the camera inwards. For me, I miss the ability to "see" myself which makes me unable to work the elements that I normally do in order to create a composition that I believe works. This can make me become very impatient with myself and not revisit the project again. This image where I'm looking like a madman, came from a vision in my head reflecting feelings at the time, but it took me an abnormal amount of time to compose and get that "just right" feel to it. 

© 2010 Terrell Neasley

When I get ready to take a shot of a model, I see everything. I don't just look at the model. I see all the surrounding elements and consider how the model integrates with the background, props, and environment. I compose based on what I see and may spot focus on a specific area within that composition. Well, I can't see myself when shooting myself and although I see many photogs excel at this skill, the talent currently eludes me. So instead of ignoring this genre any longer, I'll take it on and see how close I can get to mastering it. I would imagine it will stimulate creativity after you shoot yourself a few times, otherwise you'll quickly get bored. I don't necessarily have to be nude to do this. I've tried that before, as you can see below, and hated it. The results where unsatisfactory and it didn't have the same flair and signature style as when I do my regular nudes. And yes, I've shot guys before that I have been satisfied with. I've said I'll revisit that venture again, but I've ignored that option for now. I did a post a while back whereby I suggested every photographer who shoots nudes needs to do this at least once. Unbearable Lightness then suggested I post the images I had done, and I did. So I'll add that back in at some point, but the goal is to work creative aspects of the "capture of self" in various ways and master this skill.

A first attempt at the self-nude.
Hadn't tried it since.

A couple of other areas I think I'll pay more attention to is motion, low-light, and time-exposure photography. I don't get to do these as much, but I have a strong interest in it. I can actually combine all 3 of those doing a moving subject, at night using long shutters. Should be interesting and I'm definitely looking forward to it. Every so often, you need to get out of your comfort zone and shake things up a little. I can even try this out on myself and thus add in self portraits done, while moving around at night using extended shutter speeds. Regardless, it'll be good to just play. I hear of photographers saying all the time that they wish they could work on personal projects. That should be the priority. While I want to always earn a living from photowork, I never want to make it into a job. I don't take on assignments that I don't honestly want to do. There has to be an element of fun, challenge, or benefit just a regular assignment. You have to pay me a lot of money to make me shoot something I don't really want to shoot. I want to be successful as a professional photographer. I want to earn a really good living at it. But I don't want to chase the dollars at any cost. I'm not interested in forfeiting my love for photos for my need to make money. 

I’ve always cared more about taking pictures than about the art market. - Annie Leibovitz

© 2010 Terrell Neasley

 I'll throw in large scale panoramas as well, since I have a Gigapan that I haven't put to great use just yet. I can also add to that better artistic use of my 24mm Tilt/Shift lens. Those are probably the only two pieces of equipment that I have that I have not put hard to work. I've used them, but I haven't pushed their abilities. I haven't tapped their potential and integrated them into my workflow yet and I need to change that. Otherwise, why have them? The Gigapan system is a robotic camera mount that you sit onto a tripod. It can be programmed use your camera to take pics, one frame at a time over a selected area and then you stitch those images together for a high-resolution pano. The tilt/shift lens was originally designed for architecture use. It allows you to correct for the distortion of lines that may converge due to the shape of the lens. If you've ever tried to take a picture of a tall building, you realize you need a wide-angle lens to get it all in one frame, but then the edges of the building look as if they curve or lean backwards. With a T/S lens you can correct this by adjusting knobs on the lens that will move the front element of the lens left or right as well as upward or downward as necessary. A more popular use is capturing wide-area busy scenes that, because of the selective focus, they look like miniatures.These are the same functions you get with a large format view camera. A view camera is what you see that looks like an accordion and a person gets under a sheet behind the camera.

Last office job, State Treasurer's Office.
See? I clean up nice!

And then of course, I still have my continued nudes throughout the year. I'll always be doing that, especially now since I've elected to regularly do an annual for all the models I shoot. I'm getting better on my feet now, so I expect I'll get to do a shoot toward the end of the month. I have a project in mind already, but it will take more strength in my leg before I undertake it. I'm still not able to extend my knee out all the way and its still quite painful when I try to do so and stand on it. But I'm getting there. There is definitely measured progress, but I have to keep things light for the time being. You can even see a tad bit more muscle tone in my thigh muscle. Patience...

Challenges, Change, and Haters

Nude Model, Mercy © 2011 Terrell Neasley / See More, "A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011"

You need haters to make you stronger…without haters most people wouldn't try to become better.

~ Katt Williams

It would seem as if every time I sit down to do a blog post, the first thing on my mind to write about has something to do with patience. I'm still learning to sit still, but I'm feeling better and all the more anxious to get out and do something. Before, it was simply a dream to be able to put the crutches down and walk unassisted. Last week was my first week without crutches. I went to the theater to see why the Edgar Rice Burroughs screen adaption of "John Carter" bombed at the box office. It had been such a large production and heavily promoted, but did not live up to expectations. As fan of Burroughs, I rather enjoyed the movie, but I must confess to leaving the theater under new temptations. You see, in the film, John Carter is transported to Mars and along with superhuman strength, the lighter gravity enabled him to jump great distances. All I could dream about for the rest of the day was running and jumping. I know, I sound like a little kid, right?

Nude Model, Mercy © 2011 Terrell Neasley 

Something else I've been contemplating is moving the blog to WordPress. Blogger has been ticking me off something fierce over the years and I'm not sure why I've still been loyal to it. It was maybe 3 years ago that I first considered it, but have resisted making the move. Partly because it means moving the blog URL all over again and having to reestablish all my links, but I think I'm ready to do it. Blogging has definitely evolved and I know there is a particular look I want. Blogger simply hasn't given me what I want and I'm adamant about having that look and feel that I envision. So sooner or later, this blog will have a new look, style, and feel. On top of that, I've even got in mind a project for an all new blog! So get ready for that!

Nude Model, Mercy © 2011 Terrell Neasley 

So all in all, I'm getting off to a late start. I'm 3 months behind right now. I've had huge expectations for this year and have been optimistic about my prospects. I'm still excited about whats ahead and view my opportunities as not only challenges to overcome, but challenges to enjoy. Sometimes you need a Goliath in your way to remind you of what you are capable of as well as to expand those abilities. There are definitely challenges that simply come with living life, but I've also created challenges for myself  that might seem otherwise insurmountable. Sometimes you gotta burn that net before you walk that rope. If anything, it'll make for a good story no matter what happens. I maintain a "Watch Me!" attitude and have every intention of matching will power to  every single opposing element that may face me. Its time to make some changes and to be about what I'm supposed to be.

If you have someone hating on you right now you better think of how to get five more people hating by Christmas.

~ Katt Williams.

Nude Model, Mercy © 2011 Terrell Neasley 

So many people have aversions to both change and challenges. I don't really know why that is and have a difficult time to relate. Change is the only constant in life or even the universe for that matter. Nothing stays the same. Being flexible and adaptable is key. Maybe I learned that in the military. "Adapt and Overcome!" was often the mantra to success. As in military tactics, there are no rules in life and its not uncommon to find yourself facing overwhelming odds. But odds are just that...ODDS. It represents a probability of success given certain parameters, but even when the odds are not in your favor, by definition there is still a chance. Odds represent a one in a certain amount of chances that you can succeed. I've learned to take that "one" and run with it. If you have one chance to do something, you simply make it count. There is no such thing as a no-win situation. There is always a way to derive a positive outcome. There is much power in the will of a person who has resolved to win, achieve, overcome, survive, and ultimately thrive. Every since my teen-age years, I've actually enjoyed it when someone tells me I can't do something. So keep telling me its impossible. Tell me again how it simply can't be done. Let me hear again how impractical and improbable my ideas are. I need to hear that sometimes. Katt Williams talked about having naysayers and haters are good and that you should strive to get more. I do believe that. I aspire to have more haters. I've collected some already over the last year. So maybe I should put out an ad on Craigslist: HATERS WANTED...

Latest on Recovery

Art Model, OutDrBeauty, © 2010 Terrell Neasley 

I'm getting there!

Everything is still on hold for a little bit longer, but the knee is getting better. I still have to use crutches for a few more weeks, but I'm able to balance and put weight on my left leg more than usual. I'm not having to keep it suspended off the ground as I walk. It still sucks that I haven't been able to get back to shooting. I think a good nude project is the first thing I want to do when I can hold a camera and move around a subject again. I want to go model hunting right now, but I can't say as to when I can actually do the shoot. I've had to change my Model Mayhem page twice to reflect a longer recovery time than anticipated. But that's okay, I'll manage.

Art Model, OutDrBeauty, © 2010 Terrell Neasley 

Its been the microfracture procedure that has taken so long with the recovery. Microfracture alone takes a while, but instead of the 3 to 5 holes the surgeon had planned on, it ended up being TWENTY! (Yeah, that's what I said too.) I didn't know he had done that much off-shore style drilling in my knee until a few weeks afterwards during my post-op appointment. He told me there was more damage than what had showed up in the MRI and X-rays. So that led to more clean-up, more holes, and more recovery time. To give you an idea, this is the same surgery Greg Odom, once number 1 overall draft pick of the Portland Trailblazers had multiple times on both knees. Granted it hadn't been so successful on him. However Jason Kidd and John Stockton have also had this surgery done and you see the longevity they've enjoyed in basketball. Overall, I'm looking at about 4 to 6 months for recovery. I've yet to begin my 6-8 week rehab time.

On Microfracture surgery recovery:

The harder part is the restrictions that are placed on the patient during the post-operative recovery period. This can be a major challenge for many patients. For optimal re-growth of joint surface, the patients need to be very patient and also extremely cooperative. They usually need to be on crutches for four to six weeks (sometimes longer).  - Wikipedia

I'll just be glad to get back out on the trails again and I need to get back to shooting. I'm not making any money hanging around my house all day everyday. I thought I'd be spending all this time reading and doing tutorials, but that hasn't been so easy. Its tougher to read in my house, I think. And even moreso when all you think about is getting outside. I miss hiking. The days have been beautiful. I can see the mountains from my back patio. Yet, I am stuck inside my apartment. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not totally fixed in here, but I only go someplace when I absolutely have to. If there isn't any place I NEED to be, then I pretty much stay home. Its been exasperating. Patience has never been in my quiver of virtues. I've at least been Tweeting more than I usually do. Mostly about travel and entrepreneurship.

Art Model, OutDrBeauty,
© 2010 Terrell Neasley 

Wednesday was my first time trying to leave the house without my crutches. Overall, I did fairly well, but its different from just walking around the house like that. I got to meet up with good friend Karl Sutphin (his new website!), who was in for the week from San Fran. We hung out at my place and then got some dinner at Famous Dave's. We had just stepped into the place when I stumbled and let slip and expletive, because of the pain. It was fairly embarrassing in that it occurred right next to a couple who were enjoying their dinner. I had to grab onto the back of their booth to regain my balance. I think my face was even more contorted trying NOT to wince from the pain, than had I not been trying to control it. I took a second (or maybe a minute) to regain my composure and was led to the booth where our hostess seated us. After that, it was a good evening. I had been to Famous Dave's often but had never had their burgers. It was pretty darn good.

Art Model, OutDrBeauty, © 2010 Terrell Neasley 

I'm due to start rehab sometime at the end of the month or first week in April. I think I'll stick to that schedule instead of trying to be too quick as I had recently planned. I'll heed the doctor's advice and wait. I guess it will make it all the more sweeter if I wait. I think my ex-wife said the same thing before we were married. Not so sure how sweet it was. I think that's when I'm most prone to re-injure after having waited so friggin' long!

On the Portraiture

"A portrait! What could be more simple and more complex, more obvious and more profound."

- Charles Baudelaire, 1859

Life...

This is the single most important element of photography that I absolutely have to photograph. Its the summation and hub of every element or aspect of photo that I endeavor to shoot. And if you drill down from there in order of importance for me, then next is the nude and then the portrait takes the tertiary role. Everything else that I do are either in supplement or complimentary to those three primary focuses for me. Life in general is what I endeavor to capture and in its purest form, the nude represents my favorite aspect of that, but the portraiture of my model is the deepest connection I have with the nude and is probably the most powerful aspect of anything I do.

Does that make any sense? I do some interior/architecture photography. Its still a representation of life, as in someone's expression of life as they see it for either a functional or aesthetic purpose. I photograph events and occasions which are moments of life taking place. I do still-life photography for my fine art work. This is evidence of life that it has existed and left its mark. I have photographed death which is the culmination of life or rather the conclusion of one aspect of it. I photograph life and death along with everything in between, as most every photographer does, I guess, to some degree. And like many, I do have my specialties. I will shoot almost anything and add my particular style of interpretation to it, but my primary focus in life is the nude and the portrait.

The interesting thing about the portrait is that it does not need to be nude. In some cases, the difference is not obvious and then sometimes it is. Whether a close up or the bust, the portrait still remains the most powerful aspect of photography, I believe. It is powerful because its limits are boundless. A good portraiture does not have to have pleasant features to be impactful. Exposure does not have to be correct, nor does even the focus. Sometimes, in the same way interesting ruins or abandoned buildings can be appealing, rough facial features can also draw the attention. However the portrait has one other distinguishing component that no other genre of photography captures and that's the connection that any human being can have with the subject by peering into the eyes. Even in some cases where the viewer cannot see the eyes of the subject, there can still be an implied connection between the mind of the viewer and that of the subject. You might wonder where the subject has come from, what they feel, or how they came to be. There is a voluntary transference that takes place which can draw in the viewer unlike no other depiction of any image.

"Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?"

- Pablo Picasso

Mesmerizing, hypnotic, and even intoxicating can be terms ascribed to portraitures that are done well. This is why I love them above landscapes. I was looking through some of my images from my hiking expeditions over the last few years I've been in Las Vegas. I will go with people from the meetup groups I belong to or with close friends of mine. Ofttimes, I will go alone. However when I do go with people whom I may know or not, its funny how I'm one of the few photographers who will return from these trips with almost solely portraits and hardly any landscape. I was recently asked to licence a photo of Big Falls, a major natural landmark at Mt. Charleston, here in Nevada for a local publication. I've been up there several times, but had to look hard to find a good shot. Then when I found one, it wasn't anything that I had initially edited. Pretty much everything was of faces. Faces along the way. Faces with the falls. And faces along the return trip. Its the human condition that I shoot, although that may be a term quite overused. Most of my portraits are not posed, but rather candid shots in the moment where the subject may or may not know I'm taking the shot.

Heads. Faces. Some people are more interesting than others and for me, that starts often with the hair and then the eyes. Hair will often get my attention, but the eyes will draw me in and then I think to myself that I need that person's head. I tend to like faces that seem to tell a story or which may make me what to know about this person. Its interesting on the things that draw me to one person over another, because this is how I see the world. I am constantly looking at people. Its like a radar. I can pass through a crowd and there might be only a few faces that bleep in my range of scope. Some ping quite strongly with me. Others may ping less strongly, but my desire to photograph their portrait is no less as strong. What can I say? I like faces.

"Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter."

- Oscar Wilde

Eleanor Annetta Callahan (1916-2012)

 "Eleanor"

I write about a lot of things on this blog. Sometimes I write about current situations I find myself in, or bits of interesting information that might prove relevant to my readers. In a nutshell, this blog is representative of inspiring and informative aspects related to photography and modeling and how it all impacts or relates to me. Well, I just found out yesterday from a Facebook posting by friend and fellow mentor, Dave Levingston that one of the transcendent art models has recently passed away... Eleanor Callahan.

“I never complained, whatever I was doing. If he said: ‘Come quick, Eleanor — there’s a good light,’ I was right there."

It can be difficult to understand who Eleanor Callahan was without talking about her husband of 63 years, Harry Callahan. And if you don't know Harry Callahan, the photographer, you mind will probably go to Clint Eastwood's character of the same name. Don't do that. Harry Callahan is one of the consummate Masters of Photography pioneers mentioned in the same breath as Edward Weston or Alfred Stieglitz. Harry passed away in 1999, but for much of his career he photographed what was around him. He was the opposite of Weston who explored the western United States. Callahan is better known for walking the streets of his hometown, but the majority of his inspiration came from shooting his wife, Eleanor. She posed for him anywhere and everywhere. In fact, she is best known as the Model Who Never Said No and she'll tell you just that. If Harry called for her on the spot, she came running shedding her clothes as she went.

It might be just a simple way the light was falling on something outside. She'd sit for him and then go back to doing whatever it was that she was doing. She was photographed while she slept, when she was pregnant, outdoors, indoors...it simply did not make a difference. I do not believe Edward Weston would have amounted to as big of an innovative photographer as he was without Charis Wilson. In the same way, I do not think Harry Callahan would have amounted to the influential photographer he became without Eleanor. She was a willing subject in hundreds of his images.

“He just liked to take the pictures of me,” she told an interviewer in 2008. “In every pose. Rain or shine. And whatever I was doing. If I was doing the dishes or if I was half asleep. And he knew that I never, never said no. I was always there for him. Because I knew that Harry would only do the right thing.”

"Harry Callahan: Eleanor and Barbara",
DVD

I mean... think about it for a second. Can you imagine of Eleanor was a mean-spirited or stifling wife who balked at the notion of being photographed nude? Harry would have found another subject, possibly but it would not have been the same. He would not have been able to call on another model at a moment's notice and thus miss much of the fleeting inspirational moments that could so quickly captivate his imagination. There would have been no since of intimate connection from such a familiar perspective that we tend to take for granted in his images. One of my favorite images of his is a shot of Eleanor lying on her side with her back to us while 3-year old daughter Barbara is silhouetted standing on the bedroom windowsill. You couldn't have that shot with a model you pay to come by every now and again. If Eleanor was not the person she was, Harry would have walked by that room, saw the scene, and walked off to his refrigerator to get a beer and brood in front of the TV. But because she allowed him to fully explore his photography, his creativity, and to experiment with various concepts, he was able to achieve the greatness that we know of today. Harry would photography different landscapes and double-expose it with an image of Eleanor. Some say its because he saw her in everything he looked at.

So as is were, I've been a fan of liberating wife/models like this since I started doing nudes. Harry shot her both clothed and unclothed. Some of his most noteworthy work is of Eleanor and Barbara in the park. Interestingly enough, both Eleanor and Charis Wilson, survived their husbands and both died at age 95. So that proves a theory I've been working on. Women who model for their husbands live longer! It was also quite the coincidence that only 15 minutes before I saw DaveL's post, I was reading about Eleanor in the book, "The Model Wife", by Arthur Ollman, which I will get into in another post. I also just ordered (while in the middle of this post, no less) "Eleanor", by Jullian Cox.

Alan Gegax on KNPR Discussing Some of the Perils of Hiking

Hiker at Calico Basin outside Las Vegas

Just about anybody who knows me, is familiar with my enthusiasm for hiking. I've always been an outdoorsman, being raised a Southern country boy from Texas. We didn't have all the electronic advantages that keep kids indoors today. To stay inside meant chores and Mama finding something for us to do. Behind my house were woodland plains and I explored it all. I didn't have a car, so when I needed to go somewhere I walked, but most often you'd see me wearing swim trunks and running.

Model Melissa

I joined the regular Army at 19. By the time I was discharged, I had been a regular infantry soldier, an Army Ranger, Pathfinder, and Scout. It kept me outside and I preferred the smaller manned squad operations. I enjoyed being elite. I fit well in that class of soldiers and it became my life for 10 years. Upon exiting the military all that stopped as I entered the workforce. New priorities kept me busy working and oriented on school and advancement. It wasn't until I got to Vegas, that all my outdoors endeavors burst out again. Part of that was due to the Las Vegas Hiking and Outdoors MeetUp.com group headed by Alan Gegax. I joined up when there were a little more than 300 people signed up. Now the group is the largest MeetUp group of any kind in Vegas with well over 5100 members. I went on my first hike led by Alan, which was one of his Moonlight Tunnel hike out at Lake Mead. I recall distinctively that Alan made me feel comfortable around a bunch of strangers and he welcomed me to the group.

Hikers at Calico Basin

Today, my favorite radio station, KNPR did an segment on State of Nevada about hiker Ron Kirk who came up missing around mid-January while hiking at near Calico Basin, one of my familiar places to visit. Host Dave Becker had Alan on to give some points on Hiker Safety as well as freelance journalist, Joshua Longobardy who discussed an article he wrote on Ron Kirk in LasVegas City Life. Alan touched on several pointers that, had Ron Kirk taken heed, he would have either been found already or not have been lost at all. But I have to admit I can understand Ron's mentality in this. Joshua Longobardy talked about the fact that Ron's experience and advanced skills could have actually contributed to his predicament and I understand this totally. Often, I've gone out hiking alone and have been caught in some hairy situations at times.

Hikers at Calico Basin

Sometimes you just don't want to wait on a friend to make up their minds to go with you. Other times, people in the meet up groups might not be doing a hike you'd like to do. So instead of waiting, you just go on your own. That independence can be inspiring. And with my familiarity in taking care of myself in the wild, I can become overly confident in my abilities and not give a second thought to telling someone where I've gone or  when I'll be back. Its really no different than you finding out you are out of eggs when making a cake. You get in your car to go to the grocery store and handle your business. You don't necessarily feel a need to play it safe and give someone your itinerary.

Hikers at Calico Basin

Two things made me become a bit more cautionary. Once while a hike in the same vicinity where Ron Kirk's car was found at Calico Basin, I had decided to explore this area and spent considerable time climbing and scrambling up some beautiful rocks. I had under-anticipated how long it would take to do this. I scrambled up fairly high, very fast, and over some arduous rocks. The sun was getting low and it got darker in the canyon quicker. Getting down was MUCH tougher than I had imagined. I encountered a cleft that I had to traverse which had a downward incline with a 60 foot drop to reward a misstep. I took about 15 minutes to weigh my options in my mind. I deduced that I could drop my backpack (which held my camera!) and increase my odds of success. But the backpack might also help protect my head in a fall. I rationally concluded to keep the backpack on and than if I did indeed fall, I needed to fall in such a manner that I keep my legs together and let the sides of my legs take much of the initial impact. I might sacrifice my legs, but if I could maintain consciousness, I could low-crawl my way back to the main trial where someone was bound to find me by morning. I found that I was also high enough to be able to switch my cell phone from 3G, back to the old EDGE network and get a call through. I called my friend Felix and gave him my sit-rep. Then I took the ledge.

The second thing that made me a little more cautious was "127 Hours". The scene where Aron Ralston, played by James Franco, having to finally cut though his arm to free himself was one thing. What got me was when he was shown trying to cut through that nerve. Woof! I don't know if I could do that. And the real kicker is that there are actually THREE nerves that run through the arm! To say the least, I quickly began to reassess my thinking when I go out alone. It didn't preclude me from going out alone, but SOMEBODY knows where I am and when I'm expected back!

Model, Melissa

I pray, Ron Kirk is found alive. Its been more than a month already. Is that possible? Who knows. I say, yes. Unless God has other plans for the man, it's possible he can survive even for this long. I wish I could help in the search. Rock scrambling with crutches is seldom done for good reason. Please listen to the State of the Nevada podcast and take heed to Alan's suggestions while on the trails. Its great advice and speaks volumes of wisdom. And take advantage of the Las Vegas Hiking and Outdoors Meetup group if you live in the area. Somebody is always doing a hike ranging between the simple and easy to the more skilled. There's a hike for everyone and you should really get out and see the parts of Nevada that have nothing to do with The Strip. You won't believe how helpful these group members are and the new friendships you'll make. Actually, Alan met his wife while out hiking!! I can't wait to get back on the trails. You can also listen to Alan and myself talk about the Group and what we get out of hiking these back trails of Valley of Fire from a Spring 2011 NPR State of the Re:Union podcast. Catch us at minute 12 when you click on Segment C.

"A Year in Review of the Nude"

Another look at 

"A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011"

Cover Model, Mercy:  "A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011"

I think I'll make an attempt to refocus on my book, "A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011". I've had several more inquires about it and recently, my friend James and I were discussing it over lunch at my friend's restaurant, Thai Pepper, here in Vegas. In all the events dealing with post-operative recovery from my microfracture knee surgery, I hadn't done so much to promote the book. In my last post in which I talked about it, my own copy was still on order and had yet to arrive. Even after it did finally arrive, I showed it off a little, but I was still in considerable discomfort at that time and the name of the game was pain-management. So I think I can bring a little focus back to the book.

Art Model, Panda,
"A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011" 

"A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011" is a self-published, print-on-demand Fine Art Photography book that I had printed by Blurb.com. I've used this company over the last almost 4 years and they have been quite impressive. Over the years, they have made several strides in both the development of the book template designs as well as the quality of paper stock in which they make available. They just created an even better premium line of print paper that I am very happy with and have chosen to utilize it exclusively in this book, making it more costly for me, but your costs stay the same. In most cases, you can purchase books in any variety of paper quality or even a soft-cover. For this book however, I want it to be more representative of my own art. After seeing it in the best paper stock they make, I decided to go with it exclusively. I prefer to stick with the same concept I use for the rest of my art. So to remain consistent, I only want it presented on the best paper I think I can get at that value. At WPPI, I came across some other print and book vendors who also have fine paper. So far, I have to stay with Blurb.com for the value. Printing the same book with some of those vendors would have taken my own costs upwards of $350 to produce each book. Through Blurb, I am able to offer it to you at this level of quality for $149.99. So for now, Blurb it is.

My book is currently listed 4th when doing a search for NUDE in the blurb bookstore. Cool, huh?

When I first got the book in hand and opened it up, I was instantly pleased with the product. Its not just thicker paper but better quality all around. I compared it to some of the other promotional books I've made and it is indeed superior to those. As I mentioned, I've used this company for almost four years. This has mainly been for the benefit of private clients. I've shot everything from a baby's first birthday to more intimate concerns like a wife's Christmas present for her husband. "A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011" is notably the first book I've done just for my own interest. Every other book has been made to satisfy client needs. Several are not available for preview to the public. This book however will become an annual review, but there will also be others I do to showcase a particular model or event. In fact, I had planned on doing one exclusively on art model, Panda to be released in March. In light of recent concerns and diverted attentions, I think I'll delay it for a month or two, but I already have enough work on her to produce a book right now.

Art Model, Enyo,
"A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011"

I don't see the book as pricey as many have implied. I don't think I could emphasize enough to not look at this book as a regular book. Most people don't spend $150 on a book. I know that. Instead, understand that this is my own art. Many people will purchase art for more than $150 that depicts only one visual subject. Mine has 114... probably way to many at that price. I didn't make this book for you to look through and then shelve. You don't purchase a painting, look it over and then archive it in the attic. Its meant to be displayed and that's how I see this book. I could have sold it in a smaller size, soft-cover, on less quality paper, all for $35! But that is not what this book is. Preview "A Year in Review of the Nude: 2011" and order your copy from Blurb.com right now!

WPPI and Some New Directions

"When you’re finished changing, you’re finished." 

- Benjamin Franklin

Model, Viki Vegas

This past week has been the start of WPPI, (Wedding and Portrait Photographers International). Its quite a big event and is being held at the MGM Convention Center. In spite of my current condition, I decided I'd attend WPPI University, or WPPI U at the MGM Grand Convention Center here in Vegas. It was 2 days of workshops, seminars, and lectures dealing with photography and its related issues. Some of it was motivational and some instructional, but we had the benefit of 13 speakers who are leaders in their trade come talk to about 400 attendees. I think without a doubt, Joe Buissink was my favorite. He was informative and inspiring, as well as a great speaker. Sue Bryce was also a talented host and speaker. The thing that seemed to be a common denominator between several of these speakers is the notion that they came from nothing special and built themselves into million-dollar studios. They all faced challenges and had to overcome obstacles, but they weren't given any advantages that made them any more special than the rest of us. So if there was any one message that I think they were trying to say collectively is that if they can do it the rest of us can too.

Model, Wonderhussy

My challenges were just in the attending. I decided at the last minute to be there after I read about some of the course schedules. My main focus was on day two, where a few speakers were discussing some of the business aspects of photography which is my main focus right now. Just getting from my car to the convention center was my biggest challenge. Then I realized I had to depend on the kindness of strangers to help me just get a simple cup of water back to may seat. I met a few people who sat around me that proved helpful as well as good company. The bathroom wasn't that near when you're on crutches. I woke up this morning with sore palms from carrying my weight so much on the handles of the crutches. Day two was incredibly exhausting. It was 12 hours of class time and when I got home, I was beat. I got to bed about 1am and woke up around 5am. But somewhere right before I was getting ready to make myself some waffles, I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew my phone was ringing and it woke me up around 3 in the afternoon! I have no idea how I got back in bed, nor do I recall even falling asleep. I was due back up at WPPI that afternoon to meet with some of my NILMDTS cohorts at 2pm. I totally missed it.

Model, Wonderhussy

Taxes and accounting best practices, branding, back-up protection, etc., are some of the WPPI U topics I had an interested in. I have a MBA. I know management, marketing. I can do a lot of this on my own. But WANTING to do it is something else. I hate taxes and record-keeping. I don't want to concern myself with branding. I'd much rather have someone else do that for me. I've been rereading and reevaluating my business plan to see what has changed. Several aspects of my focus is indeed going in a different direction. My initial back-up solution is going to be different from what I initially outlined. The website will be changed and eventually another blog will be put in place. While Photo Anthems will be the primary domain name, I've recently registered some more. I picked up a speaker Craig Heidermann's Legal and Business Forms for Wedding and Portrait Photographers. He's has two careers as a full time attorney and a full-time photographer. I want to review all my current contracts after he pointed out a few things I hadn't considered in my own.

Model, Brittany V

Julieanne Kost, from Adobe, has got to be one of the most entertaining lecturers on nerd-related topics. She's a Photoshop wizard/guru/freak/nut. I'm telling you this woman can work layers like nobody's business. Check out her blog and get educated. She did a presentation on Adobe Lightroom and I now believe I'll start using it. She outlined some benefits I think I can actually use whereas before, I couldn't see how I was missing anything by using Bridge. All the other speakers where motivational or dealt with lighting and posing techniques. While informative, it wasn't where my interests currently lie. Some of the advice they gave I had to totally dismiss because it just wasn't my style. I identified most with Joe Buissink because his shooting style was closer to my own. Some of the people sitting next to me where surprised by his approach to photography while I just smiled, feeling validated to some degree.

The rest of this year is going to be way different from anything I had initially imagined last year. My goals have changed and my priorities have altered. I just need to heal so I can get started on it all.

See it in FULL LIFE

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

I guess I will have to ask for your forgiveness and apologize for that rant in the last post. I'm myself and again and once more have full and sole retention of my cognitive faculties. I'm a very passionate person. I've got my own goals and aspirations as well as problems and challenges. But pain, as I so eloquently put it in the last post, can be a bitch. That's what makes torture so long-lived.

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu

I'm still in the same predicament, only the agonizing, debilitating pain has become less pronounced. A good analogy might be that I've been thrown back into my prison cell after cruel attempts to "get me to talk". I'm still limited in my mobility and have to really concentrate on taking it easy for a bit longer. So I try not to go anywhere unless I absolutely have to. All this past week, I left the house twice. I think I shall go visit my pals at B&C Camera and talk photography and gear with some of the regulars. It'll be good to see Joe and the crew again. Outside of that, I'll root myself again in my computer chair and bed.

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

But this is still all for the best. I had this surgery because I hated dealing with the aching pain and weakness that interfered with my ability to live life to the fullest. I talked about this last April in a post, describing how I had met with a doctor who felt he could refer me to an Orthopedist with some answers to get me back on the trails and to eventually start up on the Appalachian Trail. So now, I'm at least getting started on that fix. I've had the surgery. Now I just need to let it heal. Plans are in place to take me abroad later this year, which will be the first of many quests that I set out on, not to "find myself", but rather just to start living life to the fullest. That may mean different things to different people. For me, it means to experience other cultures and see new lands. As a kid, I hardly ever left a 200 mile circumference from my home in East Texas. I used to wonder what might lie beyond in other countries and relied on the TV and World Book Encyclopedia to show me. As good as those sources were, I learned from my military travels that they just didn't do it justice.

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My first military tour of duty was Germany. Spend 18 years with 200 miles of one place in Texas and then you find yourself on the far side of the Atlantic. It was glorious. I don't recall exactly what church it was, but I remember looking at a building in either Mainz or Frankfurt that I could recall from pictures from school studies. And now, I was standing in front of it looking at it in full LIFE. Being a photographer now, my desire to see more things in full life has taken its toll on my future agendas. Everything I do now is in preparation for that. I hope to become a better photographer and also one who is more fulfilled in his work. Those of you who can't, won't, or don't believe you too can do this can live vicariously through me. I'll be blogging and posting pics of my experiences and escapades. I can't wait. Its what keeps me going while I am incarcerated waiting to heal fully.

Stay Positive! (....right...)

"Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind."

- Aristotle

(...Still working on that one!)

Art Model, Mercy ©2011 Terrell Neasley

I had originally looked forward to chronicling my events and happenings as it relates to me recouping from my recent surgery. Now, not so much. Originally, this was going to be an adventure of discovery and re-invention. Now its turned into more of a bitch-session of my rants about how bitchy this process has become. I've got 5 and a half more weeks of this mess on crutches. Then another 6 weeks of rehab. I have ABSOLUTELY no clue how to do this. I'm inclined to head back to Texas and just let moms take care of me. But you know...MOM's got a life. Dealing with the pain and limited mobility is only one aspect of what's got me pissed off. However, the loss of independence has to be more than 50% of it all. Asking somebody for help is okay to some extent, but when it comes to just the menial tasks of doing for one's self... Its just not in me to do that and living on your own in this sort of situation is a bitch. There ain't no getting around it. It's just pure-BITCH!!

Joanie, © 2010 Terrell Neasley

Granted, I am relieved when a friend comes by to visit. Sometimes I enjoy going out to dinner with good company or something that is a distraction from the everyday crap. But that's about 6% of my time. The rest of the 94% of my day is spent just trying to not go crazy, keep busy with productive things, don't fall, and don't accidentally (or willfully) do something stupid! I was actually doing so well yesterday. I took note of the fact that the swelling was going down. The pain had considerably lessened. I was still limited on range of motion as well as mobility, but everything was looking up! That is until I started to go to bed. In an oblivious and euphoric lack of concentration, I jubilantly jumped into bed. If a full bound, I lifted off with one leg and sprang with the other. Can you feel my pain, yet? I actually never left the ground. And the leg that I "attempted" to sprang with was the wrong one, or should I say the one I JUST had surgery on. All I could basically do was crumble against the side of the bed. There was no elevation. I didn't get an inch off the floor. The moment the muscles around my knee tried to accommodate the pressure of my body weight... well, I call it white pain. That's the only way I can describe the blinding, searing, hot sensation that squeezed tears out of my eyes like Summer's juicing machine. My prayers of relief were not immediately answered. I prayed I'd just pass out. I wanted to just friggin' pass out. I've never wanted to die. But right then, I just wanted to pass the F*** out. It didn't happen. I lived through every eternal minute of that...damning my stupidity the entire time.

Wow. Did that paint a picture? Its starting to hurt again just from the thought of it. Have you ever had pain so bad, you actually lose weight from it? I kid you not...I KNOW I burned about 3 pounds on the writhing on the floor last night. There should be pre-op therapy sessions designed to prepare you for this. You shouldn't even be allowed to have this kind of surgery unless you have a stay at home wife or can afford a live-in nanny. I have no idea how many other people endure this sort of ailment or what they do to cope. I know many have endured far worse. Yes, there are others who don't even have a knee to even have surgery on. But you know what... NONE of that has anything to do with what's going on with me right now. Showing me a guy who's an amputee does not help me manage pain or my affairs. Dang, I forgot to even pay my bills til my cable got turned off! This is how disorienting all this is. My phone, car insurance, and some utilities were on the verge of getting suspended.

Okay. Like I said. I'm trying to stay positive and look forward to getting a knee that's in much better shape than it was before all this. I just don't know what to tell myself when something as uneventful as last night takes place. I mean, Damn! I just about wish I was still in good standing with an ex-girlfriend, but she's no longer in town anyway. I know that wouldn't be overall good for me, but at the moment, if you merely suggested that crack would advance me through the next several months in relative ease, I'd be spending a lot of time trying to talk myself out of it and can't say with a high degree of certainty that I'd be successful. All I know is this. This sucks. I gotta deal with it. I gotta get better. But I'm also gonna be bitchy. Where's my next nude model??!!