See it in FULL LIFE

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

I guess I will have to ask for your forgiveness and apologize for that rant in the last post. I'm myself and again and once more have full and sole retention of my cognitive faculties. I'm a very passionate person. I've got my own goals and aspirations as well as problems and challenges. But pain, as I so eloquently put it in the last post, can be a bitch. That's what makes torture so long-lived.

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu

I'm still in the same predicament, only the agonizing, debilitating pain has become less pronounced. A good analogy might be that I've been thrown back into my prison cell after cruel attempts to "get me to talk". I'm still limited in my mobility and have to really concentrate on taking it easy for a bit longer. So I try not to go anywhere unless I absolutely have to. All this past week, I left the house twice. I think I shall go visit my pals at B&C Camera and talk photography and gear with some of the regulars. It'll be good to see Joe and the crew again. Outside of that, I'll root myself again in my computer chair and bed.

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

But this is still all for the best. I had this surgery because I hated dealing with the aching pain and weakness that interfered with my ability to live life to the fullest. I talked about this last April in a post, describing how I had met with a doctor who felt he could refer me to an Orthopedist with some answers to get me back on the trails and to eventually start up on the Appalachian Trail. So now, I'm at least getting started on that fix. I've had the surgery. Now I just need to let it heal. Plans are in place to take me abroad later this year, which will be the first of many quests that I set out on, not to "find myself", but rather just to start living life to the fullest. That may mean different things to different people. For me, it means to experience other cultures and see new lands. As a kid, I hardly ever left a 200 mile circumference from my home in East Texas. I used to wonder what might lie beyond in other countries and relied on the TV and World Book Encyclopedia to show me. As good as those sources were, I learned from my military travels that they just didn't do it justice.

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My first military tour of duty was Germany. Spend 18 years with 200 miles of one place in Texas and then you find yourself on the far side of the Atlantic. It was glorious. I don't recall exactly what church it was, but I remember looking at a building in either Mainz or Frankfurt that I could recall from pictures from school studies. And now, I was standing in front of it looking at it in full LIFE. Being a photographer now, my desire to see more things in full life has taken its toll on my future agendas. Everything I do now is in preparation for that. I hope to become a better photographer and also one who is more fulfilled in his work. Those of you who can't, won't, or don't believe you too can do this can live vicariously through me. I'll be blogging and posting pics of my experiences and escapades. I can't wait. Its what keeps me going while I am incarcerated waiting to heal fully.

Inspirations

"I wish more people felt that photography was an adventure the same as life itself and felt that their individual feelings were worth expressing. To me, that makes photography more exciting."

- Harry Callahan

"Bamboo", Terrell Neasley

"Saddle in Panguitch", Terrell Neasley

I follow several blogs. Some are friends that I keep tabs with and others are professional resources from which I glean information. One in particular has made encouraging impacts with a few blog posts which you can find at Chase Jarvis's Blog. The first one of note was simply timely, entitled "Everything is Going to Be Alright". I was really in need of slowing down and de-stressing when I got the email version of his blog in my In Box. I laughed out loud when I saw it. (Saying I LOL just didn't sound right.) Needless to say, several commentators shared my sentiments as your scrolled down the comment list. His next blog post was also timely, but more of a good truism or principle to live by. "The Only Things That Really Matter Are..." was posted just a few days later and once again, after reading it, I LOL'ed...(or is it L'ed OL?) He recounts the most important things that relate to who you can become and what you can do. Its really an excellent short read.

NHRA '09 Hotrod, Terrell Neasley

I'm just finishing up on two projects that deal with my health and my profession. Its too complicated to go into details, but suffice to say, it has consumed my attention, efforts, time, money, and energy over the last six months. Paperwork...lots of paperwork, research, editing, etc. Now, I've got it pretty much all done and it seems like I'm in a sort of state of mind that begs the question, "Okay, so now what?" Well, in addition to working my profession, I want to start getting back to doing personal projects and making goals again. Specifically, I need to get shooting more nudes, but also I want to start doing alternative and film photography with specialty cameras. I got a Holga Pinhole camera six months ago and I have YET to put this thing through its paces. Part of that is because I want to do some nudes with it, but I have to also find some color medium format film for the thing and probably lots of it. Then its off to experimenting with a patient model. The latest issue of Rangefinder Magazine has some interesting ideas related to Scott Highton's Virtual Reality photography that I'd like to explore. Just got the mag in yesterday and I'm anxious to finish pouring through it. Lots of good stuff.

"Tower of Power", by Terrell Neasley, from a recent hike

"End of a Beetle", by Terrell Neasley
from a recent hike

I've also met a few inspirational people along the way here recently. Model, Selena Bree from a recent interview is one. I've got personal reasons to travel around over the next 3 to 4 months, but Selena Bree is another model I've got to get to Arkansas to work with. She's full of life with an attitude that makes you want to be around her. Very charming woman. Samantha came by to see me a few weeks ago. I've lauded her several times on this blog, as a search for her reveals. And then there's a conversation with a fellow photographer and friend who got to talking to me about hiking the Appalachian Trail. Her dream is to do the Pacific Crest Trail someday. Me...I want to do the trifecta. The AT is 2200 miles from Georgia to Maine. The PCT is 2600 miles from Mexico to Canada, and then there's the Continental Divide that runs 3100 miles which starts in Mexico and runs up New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, touches Idaho, then Montana, and on into Canada. Talking to her was inspirational in that it got me to refocusing on being able to make that happen. In the process, I began war-gaming a way to shoot models throughout each of the hike. It'd take some serious coordinations and even more intestinal fortitude, but I'd like to do each of these trail systems over a 3 year period. I'll probably need some sponsorship or maybe some kind of funding from grants or friends. This talk coincided with a new doctor that I've been seeing that suggests he might be able to fix my knee. With a stronger knee, the first thing I thought about was the fact that my dream of doing these trails might not be dead after all.

Enjoy these shots of some of my Fine Art stuff. Some are older images that I've revisited. Others are of course, new.

Computer Replaced

"A Faerie's Gaze"

"Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory."

- Diane Arbus

I've got a new computer now, thanks to my friend Garrett. As it turns out, my motherboard was sacked by a blitzing power surge that ran unimpeded past my guard, surge protector which was supposed to be protecting my blind side. (That was a football analogy). Most of my important stuff was backed up but I still lost some data that I wanted to keep. I am almost certain I still have all of my images, but I am not certain if I made all my final backups before the thing crashed. I definitely need to make some changes as to my workflow and how I organize and protect my digital files. As a photog, redundancy should be an automatic practice and I need to be better at it. I'm getting there. Part of it is resources, but like I said, I'm getting there. So let me just reiterate. Back-up, back-up, back-up. Its all about having the right level of protection.

I have another workshop coming up this Sunday and I am hosting it with the fabulous Faerie. She's been my drawing workshop model and of course she's modeled for me, but this will be her first time modeling for one of my workshops. These guys are going to love her. Faerie is fabulous. I need to schedule some more work with her. She is someone I like to shoot just to be shooting. I could shoot her all day anytime she feels like being shot. Its been since April since I have worked with her, so I need to set something up.




Something else I wanted to divert your attention to is the new website of my friend Felix Gonzalez at FelixGPhotography. He's still putting it all together and posting images, but you'll be enriched and blessed to check out what he's got online so far. This dude has vision that supercedes some of the more well-known photogs that you may know of. From still, landscapes, and nudes, Felix is definitely someone whom you should check out. You got an empty space on your wall crying for the right piece...you'll find it with Felix. The guys's got the goods.



I'm heading out with him again in August. Felix and his wife, Summer are who I camped with in Panguitch, Utah earlier this month. This time, we'll be near Zion National Park along with several others. I am soooo looking forward to this trip and I have several more I want to do. I need to get up to Salt Lake at some point to explore that area. I've had contacts from a few models there that I need to get into my portfolio. Run C and Isabeau have expressed a strong desire to shoot with me and I'd like to make it happen. I also want to get back to Tennessee and Kentucky. One, I'd like to visit my kids. Two, I need to complete my hike of the North-South Trail at Land Between the Lakes. Its a 72-miler which a friend and I tried to do in two days. We started at 9am and reached the halfway point around midnight or just before. The problem was that it rained on us the ENTIRE time we were out there. Several spots on the trails were flooded, particularly in the lowlands. It was a pain to hike around all that and then try to find the trail again in the dark. All my military training in patrolling and land navigation came to bear to keep us on track. As it happened, my friend twisted his knee on the slick inclines that were covered in dead leaves and exposed rocks. We were fortunate enough to be able to acquire a signal to call a friend to pick us up. My car was still 31 miles away on the opposite end. It still bugs the hell out of me that I didn't finish that trail. I still have every intention of doing the Appalachian Trail at some point which is 2000 miles from Georgia to Maine. I'd like to take a model with me. Any takers? It might even be cool to shoot a model every month. It averages 6 months for this hike and a model could meet me at various stages as I arrive. I could start with one model in Georgia and meet a new model in Tennessee, Virginia, New Jersey, and finish up in Maine with someone else. Who's with me on this?


And then my third reason for wanting to go back is because I miss the area. I especially want to get another chance to visit friends still there and most especially to shoot some models that I've worked with before there. I've learned so much since then, that I'd like to shoot some of those models again to do a better job.