A New Panda!

Muse, Panda © 2012 Terrell Neasley

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."

- Og Mandino

Wow. I went by Panda's house since I was in the area. I wanted to introduce her to my knuckles. [Insert: knuckles = kids!] Cassie and my kid-in-law came to help me get around for the first week after surgery and on the way back from one of my doctor visits, we stopped by Panda's joint. I didn't recognize her for the first .04 seconds that I saw her. She cut her hair drastically...actually she let her hubby and a friend do it! I wasn't expecting that and as I sat in my car wide-eyed as she came down the stairs to meet us, I knew I couldn't wait til I fully recuperated from the knee surgery to shoot her again. I desperately needed her new head! Well, I got that chance earlier this week and she came over to my place. I'm not taking any other assignments right now. The knee is too swollen and I'm in too much pain to try to concentrate on doing a great job. HOWEVER, shooting nudes, for some reason seems to distract me from the pain. And I've already shot Panda enough that I'm comfortable with her seeing me so vulnerable. I don't mind if all of a sudden I move incorrectly and searing pains emanates from my knee causing my body to wrack in awkward momentary contortions. I catch my breath, ease myself back into the correct position and proceed as if nothing had ever happened. Besides, it gives me something to edit during my downtime!

Muse, Panda © 2012 Terrell Neasley

I couldn't be like that in front of a client or a model whom I'm not as familiar with. Its just not a good showing or good form. It also puts too much pressure on the person I'm shooting to feel like they should help or do something when in actuality, they can't. So why then would I then shackle them the inevitable millstone of helplessness that is sure to sink them below waves of disparity at not being able to assist me? Panda would call me a Dumb-Ass and laugh at me. And to another fact, I've been specifically requested to do a NILMDTS session. I had initially considered not taking that assignment, but since I've previously shot for this family only a few months back, I felt a certain obligation to commit. I can only do this with Panda's help. She's got a car that's easy for me to get in and out of and she will assist me on this shoot. So for the time being, the only thing that can make me pick up a camera is doing a nude or a call for a NILMDTS session when I'm specifically requested (or if no one else is available).

Muse, Panda © 2012 Terrell Neasley

It's been two weeks since my surgery. I just left the doc yesterday for me two-week post-op and he gave me the lowdown. I went in sort of irritated as hell. I've been in constant pain for most all of this past two weeks, but I walked (or hobbled) in very reserved. I didn't go in blasting about how I couldn't get any stronger pain meds like I wanted to. This guy has been genuine with me from the start and the first thing he did was apologize for my discomfort. He told me everything he had to do and why it wasn't good for me to have stronger meds. My knee was basically a trash heap inside. He cleaned all that up, scrapped down to the good bone, and then proceeded to drill 20 HOLES inside all that! That's the Microfracture procedure I mentioned in the last post. I didn't know it was 20 holes, though. I was thinking maybe 5 or 6. This guy went for the shotgun effect, but he explained that it was truly necessary and that it needed to be done and that it was necessary to get deep into the good bone. This was going to leave me in a little more pain because the swelling was going to be so much more persistent.

Muse, Panda © 2012 Terrell Neasley

But you know what, I feel better about that now. I'm focusing more on the new stuff I'll be able to do when I hit the trails! I'm excited about my travels this summer! Ever seen a chained dog when suddenly let off the leash? They come blasting out the gates!! That's what I'm concentrating on. I won't be blasting, but I'm just looking forward to living again and I'm going to really make use of my long awaited ambulatory prowess. I'm going to do what I'm supposed to do and will try to make sure to not be stupid and rush ANYTHING. I've got 6 weeks of crutches. Then its at least 6 weeks of rehab. I'm going to make the best of it and get back on my feet. Not saying its not going to suck, but you know what, its no different than taking really bad-tasting medicine...except that the distasteful experience is a little longer.