Samantha's First Time with Me

You cannot believe in honor until you have achieved it. Better keep yourself clean and bright: you are the window through which you must see the world.

- George Bernard Shaw

I'm still wondering how to relate to the 2257 statute that went into effect this past month. I had a model ask me about it out of concern just this past week. She wasn't at all happy about surrendering her personal info to just anybody and I can understand her point. Its one thing to show your driver's licence to a photog so he can verify your age, but its something else to give him a copy of it for his records. She's got to get a new licence since her's has her social security number on it, which is strongly advisable. But such is the case if you wish to either continue in the artistic nude arena, be you model or photog.

My main issue, currently, is the place of record part of the business. If I want to comply, I need to have records on file with the scanned copies of model identification at some place which can be open to inspectors whenever they want to come check me out. Granted the rules states 20 hours out of the week, but the intent is to be available during regular business hours. Well, photogs don't want to list home addresses on their sites and you know there is a cost factor involved when you use an off-premise site that can maintain your records for you. What I'd like to see is the art community come together and, 1.) Get this law repealed as unconstitutional or at least take the heat off of us artists who should have nothing to do with this. However 2.) if we have to comply, lets ban together and have a few central places that can keep our records for us without costing us so dog gone much every time we drop the shutter. I looked at one company and they charged you $35 for every record you kept, plus a yearly fee that I can't immediately recall at the moment. Dang... can we not figure out something better for this?

I got to work with a new model a few weeks ago. Samantha is another one of those models who I'd like to see regularly posting on a blog. Its always been a thrill for me to read models who recant their adventures and experiences as model-slash-blogger. Having been a model myself, its always a welcomed opportunity to delve into the mind of the art nude model as she relates to us the goings-on of her day. Samantha is one of those who, while young, has opinions that warrant a closer look at her identification. You'd swear she was more experienced than her years suggest. In most cases, I identify with a model like on this level who is much more mature and can back up their opinions with actual time on the planet. I found myself in Samantha's apartment listening to and questioning her insights and left there wondering what's she's already experienced so soon in her life that has brought her to ask some of the questions she asks or thinks about some of the things she contemplates. It was a refreshing conversation. Much of our preliminary shoot was spent capturing her in conversation with me.

And speaking of models who blog, I had the experience of dialoging with Groovacious K the other week. Now, if you hadn't heard, you definitely better ask somebody. This lady's got curves that can prove dangerous if you aren't careful. I JUST missed her while she was in Vegas. I've seen her work in previous months, especially on deviantART, shot by photographer David Winge. I've been working on a series of dark curves lately so its so hard to ignore what she's got to offer. AND she blogs on a regular basis with feeling. I mean, she really puts it out there. You can learn much from this girl. I've already picked up a few pointers from her that I am passing on to a friend. So not only is she gorgeous with a killer bod, but she's articulate, smart, and willing to share with anybody who's interested. That's the kind of model who's on my radar and I can't wait til she back this way again.

It's Hot! Damn Hot!

"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water."

- Eleanor Roosevelt 

*Sorry... I just like that quote. Its got nothing to do with any of my topics.

"Hey, can you tell me what's your name? 

"My name is Roosevelt E. Roosevelt." Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in? "I'm stationed in Poontang." Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What's the weather like out there? "It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest thing is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking." Well, tell me what it feels like. "Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! It's so damn hot, I saw these little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?" What do you think it's going to be like tonight? "It's gonna be hot and wet! That's nice if you're with a lady, but ain't no good if you're in the jungle!" Thank you, Roosevelt." 

--- Robin Williams, from "Good Morning, Vietnam!"

Summer has arrived here in the Las Vegas Valley a little early...like by three weeks. Already, we are getting record temperatures. At 108 degrees, its pretty dog-gone hot and the hottest time of the year is still a ways off yet. I don't feel all that smart when I walk outside and my mind asks myself, "Why are we here, again?". But honestly, where can you go? Wildfires, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, or blizzards...something's going to get ya. I still say we bring Al Gore back and force him to be Energy Czar whether he wants to or not. Something's gotta be done. Global warming really sucks.

Joanie, Dry lake bed, Nevada

On an entirely different note, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and I was asked about celebrity shoots. Megan Fox came up in our discussion and he asked if she'd be my celebrity of choice to do a nude shoot with. When I said no, he gave me a look of disbelief, but threw out a few more model/actress names. Rhianna, Brittany Spears, and several more popular names were all dismissed. Still disbelieving me, he asked me to identify who'd be my choice. At first, I said that if the choice were mine, I'd select two of the first models I worked with, but only once. I didn't mention the names, but in truth, I'd like another shot at my friends, Sara and Elizabeth. This was not acceptable to him. He wanted celebrities. I'm not the star-struck type, but I did give him two names that popped into my head. I'd have to say if there were two celebs I think I'd like to work with, it would have to be ESPN Analyst Sage Steele, and the Travel Channel's own, Samantha Brown. My friend didn't understand my choices. He recalled Sage Steele, but had no knowledge of Samantha Brown. I informed him that his not knowing her did not disqualify her. She's on TV often enough whether she's on channels he watches or not. Traveling all over the world with a model is a life-long dream of mine anyway. Samantha is definitely a qualifier in that arena. So at any rate, they are my choices.

Joanie was very patient and never complained about 

putting her tush on rough spots.

I need to get back to doing my art nudes. Its been a loooong while since I've done it regularly. Joanie, is the only person I've worked with since October, I believe. Its been tough to find the time while I've had other concerns. I wasn't even trying to shoot any nudes. In fact, I would not have even gotten to shoot Joanie had she not asked me first. The shots you now see were done a month or so ago on a second shoot I did with her. I now have a few models lined up for the near future, that I've been in talks with. I was supposed to work with a friend while in Tennessee, but it just didn't work out. Normally, I'd have found a back-up, but I was sort of sure of this girl, so I didn't hunt for anyone else when she originally said yes. That back-fired on me, but such is the business. Right now, there are at least three new models that I'm looking forward to. Actually, I've shot with one of them before, but its been more than a year. There's also Faerie whom I'm due to see this upcoming weekend, but I don't know if we'll shoot. Its more of a social thing, but I'm taking the camera anyway. I never want to visit Faerie without my camera. So hopefully, I'm looking at 5 potentials (another one popped in my head.)

Abstract image of Joanie

Dave Rudin and I talked extensively last night and one of our topics was the nude drought we've both been in.  The two of us tend to envy Dave Levingston who seems to shoot daily. (BTW, be sure to update your links to DaveL's new blog site.) There's no way DaveR could handle that work load with his film photography. In fact, he discusses the 30 rolls he's still needing to develop from February, in his latest blog posting. I don't know if I could handle that load either. I still spend a lot of time editing and can easily get back logged. I could probably handle 4 to 6 shoots a month, though. One thing DaveR pointed out that I didn't realize was that actor Dennis Hopper, who passed away recently, was also a photographer. I knew about the exploits of Leonard Nimoy, Spock from Star Trek, and his foray into some serious art nude work, but I hadn't the slightest clue about Mr. Hopper. I came across this Chasing Light blog post by NY Photographer Doug Kim, who displays some excellent shots taken by Dennis Hopper. My favorite is the first one of Paul Newman. I just finished a Paul Newman movie called Exodus just a few hours ago, in fact.

Bringing Back Sam

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."

- Og Mandino

(This is how I feel sometimes!)

I can honestly say that I have just about adapted to digital photography in the way that I did with film. I could spend seemingly endless hours in a darkroom. While in grad school, a few years back, I'd easily say 75% of my time was spent developing film and prints in a lab. I've clocked more than 24 hours straight...minus the bathroom break and food on more than a single occasion. My academic peers struggled to understand how I could expect to handle the various class projects, papers, and exams since scholastic endeavors were not my priority. Nonetheless I finished among the top in my class for both degree programs. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy. There were many sleepless nights and days, for that matter. I just did what I had to do. Photo was important to me and I had to have it. It may not have been the wisest thing, but it has paid off. I've learned so much more because of my film background and its helped me appreciate fine art photography to a greater degree. The above cartoon was really funny to me. Trust me, I can relate.

Model, Samantha

I had just begun to play with darkroom manipulations when I ended up moving to Lost Wages, I mean, Las Vegas. I was dismayed because I was just beginning to discover my own style in the darkroom. Inspired by Jerry Ulesmann, I began to see what was actually possible with film that I never imagined could be true. I liken it unto Roger Bannister's quest to be first to break the 4-minute mile. It was imagined impossible until he did it, after which several other runners accomplished the feat within the next few years. This was the sort of effect Ulesmann's work had on my own art. Granted, I don't place myself in a Ulesmann category, but you get the idea. As for digital, its taken me another almost 4 years to began to feel comfortable enough to pick up where I left off in film. I've been doing more of this style lately, basically playing around in Photoshop and figuring it out as I go. I can pretty much look at a shot and get a general idea of what I want to do with it, but lots of it is trial and error. I still feel that there is a slight loss in craftsmanship in digital photography. Partly that may be because in most cases, a craftsman used his/her hands to mold, build, or create something from raw materials. It had an aesthetic value that was created from the common and your style or technique differentiated your own work from similar creations of another craftsman. I guess the same can hold true even though your efforts are in effect, inputs into a computer. I've looked at enough artwork though, that I can in many cases, discern  and identify a particular photographer's work just by the style of the photograph.

Back Patio, Sam's Place, Las Vegas

These are shots of Samantha. Its been more than a year since I've worked with her last. Things got a little busy in her life and we just never touched base with one another again. I was very much surprised to get a call from her while I was in Tennessee to express an interest in continuing where we left off. Sam has actually become a photographer in her own right in since I last met her and we've discussed a few collaborations of our own. Its always good to talk to Sam. You always leave her feeling upbeat and having been inspired from great conversations. These are some preliminary imagery that I sort of took off running with. I got almost 200 images in this session and have edited around 30 or so. You can follow her happenings on her blog Anais Productions as she details her activities as a photog and model.

The Artist's Paradox

"The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt." - Bono

Well...So, what do you think? You haven't even noticed the new changes have you? Now I feel like the girl who gets her hair done and her man doesn't even notice! Fine, I'll just point it out then...

If you will cast your eyes to the top, just below the header, you'll now notice I've added a menu bar where you can view additional pages to the blog. Some were along the right column and some are new. But now you can click on the menu options and get a bit more detail ABOUT ME, ABOUT THIS BLOG, well...you can read. So I invite you to peruse the menu bar and check out the newness of Photo Anthems Blog. I liked it. You'll also notice I've added a slide show on the right. Its the best I could do. I wanted to add on that featured a particular gallery of images, but Blogger doesn't seem to allow that, at least as far as I can tell. These are pretty much all the images that have been posted on my blog, but they also include the comic strips and any other pics that I've posted that are not personally owned by me.

What is the Artist's Paradox? I know I'm not the only one dealing with this dilemma, but it does frustrate me to no end that we live in an age of tech geniuses where just about anything is possible, yet artists can't get protection for their work. I'm talking reasonable protection, that is. I know there are ways to circumvent anything. Its a war of upsmanship. (I don't think that's a word, but it expresses my point). Much like the viral wars, as any new security feature is invented, somebody creates a virus or hack to breech it. Then the tech powers that be, have to plug the hole. And it creates a never ending cycle. That's been the nature of war since Cain. I'm sure Seth then came up with the idea for a helmet.

Model, Melissa

The only absolute answer most people will reply with (usually non-artists) is, "Well, if you don't want your stuff stolen, DON'T put in in the world wide web!" True, but that's like telling us abstinence is the only thing that's 100% guaranteed to prevent unwanted pregnancies or STDs. It might be correct, but do we really want to stop having sex? No, we do assume a certain level of risk, but we at least have the option of reasonable protection in a condom. Its not 100%. They do fail at times but that failure rate is reasonable and its mainly due to user error. Not only that, we don't pay the equivalent of a car payment for a condom and they are not only for the upper echelon of the social classes. Bentleys...yes. Condoms...no. I don't have 12 Bentleys in a garage, but I've got 12 condoms in a box...wait, maybe less. (Crass, I know).

"Old Hacienda", Model Samantha

All I'm saying is that I wish somebody'd satisfy the artist's need...dare I say, compulsion to share and display their art with reasonable protections against theft. I know there's somebody that can get your stuff whatever you do, but damn I don't want to make it easy for the masses. If you break into my house, you've got to do some damage and you risk discovery very easily. People on the web are way too anonymous. Where is all this coming from? Well, I've always felt this way. Many of the popular online galleries we use don't have adequate protection. Model Mayhem doesn't. They moderate sites for decency which protects their interests, but have no security features to protect our's. Model Brigade, however does, only they are not as popular. One Model Place also does. Deviant Art does not and its very popular world wide. I've recently found a profile that spits obvious theft like an old diesel engine spits oil. Yes, there is the "style" of images that are not the same throughout the gallery. But there are other clues as well. For those grade of images, you'd think the creator would have a watermark on them. He'd have a website or another reference linking back to more of his work. There would be contact information to solicit more work. Meta data for the camera used, date the pick was taken, focal length, etc. might be displayed. This profile was completely blank. No ID. No About Me. Nothing except for commentary of other people saying, "Love your work". I did a quick TINEYE.com search on one of the images and despite the title profile identifying him as a US student, I found the author of the work to be in the Ukraine. A few more searches came up with more European and Russian authors. Deviant Art only deleted the one image when they should have deleted the profile. I found this same instance a year or so back only the profile user was selling the images he stole. This passive style of "protection" should be more proactive in my humble opinion.

"Sun Bath", Model Samantha

What can we do? Keep exposing ourselves to risk? That doesn't make good business since, though. Maybe that's where the adage "Starving Artists" originated from. I often hear about talented artists who never make it because of lack of business savvy. On the other hand, how many times have you seen a guy making millions and you KNOW your work is better. Chances are, he or she was a better marketer and promoter of themselves. People make money on less talented work every day. So what do we do, my friends? Is there a better way? I may have to look into this further, but I also have to take a look at the man in the mirror and I ask the same of you. Who among you has a boot-leg movie from the guy who approached you in the Wal-Mart parking lot? How about a fake Rolex, software, perfume, or a Gucci bag? Who has unlocked an iPhone or is big on movie/music sharing? It would seem like its part of our nature to circumvent the rules even if we justify them as Us Against Big Business, or Sticking It to the Man! I'll let you draw that line. In the meantime, I want to protect my stuff.

Instagram and the Art Nude

Art Model, Susan ©2013 Terrell Neasley

"Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." Well, that's what they say. Is it true? Hell, naw. When you love something you'd better work your ass of at it or you won't be loving it for long. So the work continues. You get better or you stagnate and if you stagnate you die. So what is it that I love. I love the art nude and I love travel. Its pretty much all I ever want to shoot. Making a living at just that can be challenging. How do you make a living with nudes outside of porn? And there is no shortage of travel photogs out there. In fact, I'd say there is a stark surplus of shooters traveling all over the world and returning with highly interesting imagery.

When I first turned professional after losing my job at the Nevada State Treasurer's Office, I did so after a long deliberation. For the first month I was unemployed, I did absolutely nothing related to job hunting or planning for my future. I enjoyed myself and relaxed. On day 32, I decided I'd turn pro in photo. I had all the gear I needed already and I was definitely good enough. One thing I knew for sure was that I did not want to be like every other photog swinging a lens. So I spent Month 2, five days a week, bending my brain on all the possibilities of what niche I'd carve for myself. By the end of that month, I only needed to begin my work and  execute my plan.

Anonymous Art Model, ©2014 Terrell Neasley 

And so this is where I find myself once again. Travel and Art Nude photography is the WHAT. And that's why I sit here in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala in my "penthouse" apartment that I've been renting for the last 3 months figuring out the HOW. My plan is to use this as a staging point til September and at that time,  I'll be ready to continue my adventure as I fly to Colombia. I should have the rest of the gear I need by then with a plan on execution. One of my considerations deals with platforms and that's where Instagram comes in.

I am so pissed with IG. I can't stand the censorship. Actually, there are a lot of things with which I take issue with them, but for now, lets stick to the censoring of my work. I don't know how some pages get away with it, but my profile is constantly getting censored images taken down and I have no clue as to what Community Guidelines were violated. No clue even which pics were deleted at times. No recourse to understand anything. They don't let you contact them so you can't ask questions. No clue if an algorithm is incorrectly targeting my already censored edits. OR, if an anonymous person is reporting my images and they get deleted without due scrutiny. And apparently, after a quick check, I discovered that some of my images have been SHADOW BANNED! They still appear on my profile page where I can see them, but YOU can not see them. You can check to see your's on INSTAGRAM SHADOW BAN TESTER. So I'm not sure if this is the right platform for me anymore.

Art Model, Samantha ©2010 Terrell Neasley

I can't stand being beholden to someone else's sensibilities on what is obscene or offensive to other viewers. I do my work and my art and believe you, me...I plan to misbehave. Some of my artwork leans towards the explicit and I don't know what to tell you... you can simply not look at it if you don;t like it. I won't be offended. Ergo, I need a new platform to display and exhibit my work. VERO, is a possibility but I still have time to search this out. Maybe I'll keep IG solely for the Travel work. I won't make this call until later this fall.

Instagram is only part of my challenge. I've still got to find favorable venues and platforms that won't limit or censor my work. And that means I have to tap into a demographic that appreciates and purchases my art which leaves me with with the task of finding my real audience. Plenty of people are interested in travel photography, visiting places around the world, and living vicariously through those that do in the form of instant access social media. That demographic is easy. A smaller portion of that demographic is interested in seeing a nipple exposed anywhere near a waterfall. And even less want a full frontal nude body "desecrating", what would have otherwise been appropriate imagery to hang on a family wall. I can be a bit obstinate, I know. Because the easy solution is to just stick to the travel landscape and make everybody happy. And that would be great, but it would come at the cost of my own happiness. I can not do that.

Multiple Art Models, ©2013 Terrell Neasley

So for the time being, I keep shooting. Get my gear. (I'll be ordering my laptop soon!) And keep researching, learning, and planning. I'll make my call this fall.

Inspirations

"I wish more people felt that photography was an adventure the same as life itself and felt that their individual feelings were worth expressing. To me, that makes photography more exciting."

- Harry Callahan

"Bamboo", Terrell Neasley

"Saddle in Panguitch", Terrell Neasley

I follow several blogs. Some are friends that I keep tabs with and others are professional resources from which I glean information. One in particular has made encouraging impacts with a few blog posts which you can find at Chase Jarvis's Blog. The first one of note was simply timely, entitled "Everything is Going to Be Alright". I was really in need of slowing down and de-stressing when I got the email version of his blog in my In Box. I laughed out loud when I saw it. (Saying I LOL just didn't sound right.) Needless to say, several commentators shared my sentiments as your scrolled down the comment list. His next blog post was also timely, but more of a good truism or principle to live by. "The Only Things That Really Matter Are..." was posted just a few days later and once again, after reading it, I LOL'ed...(or is it L'ed OL?) He recounts the most important things that relate to who you can become and what you can do. Its really an excellent short read.

NHRA '09 Hotrod, Terrell Neasley

I'm just finishing up on two projects that deal with my health and my profession. Its too complicated to go into details, but suffice to say, it has consumed my attention, efforts, time, money, and energy over the last six months. Paperwork...lots of paperwork, research, editing, etc. Now, I've got it pretty much all done and it seems like I'm in a sort of state of mind that begs the question, "Okay, so now what?" Well, in addition to working my profession, I want to start getting back to doing personal projects and making goals again. Specifically, I need to get shooting more nudes, but also I want to start doing alternative and film photography with specialty cameras. I got a Holga Pinhole camera six months ago and I have YET to put this thing through its paces. Part of that is because I want to do some nudes with it, but I have to also find some color medium format film for the thing and probably lots of it. Then its off to experimenting with a patient model. The latest issue of Rangefinder Magazine has some interesting ideas related to Scott Highton's Virtual Reality photography that I'd like to explore. Just got the mag in yesterday and I'm anxious to finish pouring through it. Lots of good stuff.

"Tower of Power", by Terrell Neasley, from a recent hike

"End of a Beetle", by Terrell Neasley
from a recent hike

I've also met a few inspirational people along the way here recently. Model, Selena Bree from a recent interview is one. I've got personal reasons to travel around over the next 3 to 4 months, but Selena Bree is another model I've got to get to Arkansas to work with. She's full of life with an attitude that makes you want to be around her. Very charming woman. Samantha came by to see me a few weeks ago. I've lauded her several times on this blog, as a search for her reveals. And then there's a conversation with a fellow photographer and friend who got to talking to me about hiking the Appalachian Trail. Her dream is to do the Pacific Crest Trail someday. Me...I want to do the trifecta. The AT is 2200 miles from Georgia to Maine. The PCT is 2600 miles from Mexico to Canada, and then there's the Continental Divide that runs 3100 miles which starts in Mexico and runs up New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming, touches Idaho, then Montana, and on into Canada. Talking to her was inspirational in that it got me to refocusing on being able to make that happen. In the process, I began war-gaming a way to shoot models throughout each of the hike. It'd take some serious coordinations and even more intestinal fortitude, but I'd like to do each of these trail systems over a 3 year period. I'll probably need some sponsorship or maybe some kind of funding from grants or friends. This talk coincided with a new doctor that I've been seeing that suggests he might be able to fix my knee. With a stronger knee, the first thing I thought about was the fact that my dream of doing these trails might not be dead after all.

Enjoy these shots of some of my Fine Art stuff. Some are older images that I've revisited. Others are of course, new.

Don't Be Afraid

Art Model, Covenant ©2015 Terrell Neasley

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." 

~ Nelson Mandela

Don't be afraid.

You know I can honestly leave this post at just those 3 words, but anybody who knows me, knows I am never that succinct. I like to use my words, so let me articulate my meaning here. Elocution would serve better, but since I have not as of yet published my work via podcasts, the written word will suffice. As a former Staff Sergeant in the Army, my voice can deliver the intended affect with inflection and tone that deliver my meaning more accurately, but I will try to get my point across, nonetheless. Maybe one day I'll do a speech on the matter. For now...the written word.

Art Model, Samantha ©2011 Terrell Neasley

We all fear. Its inevitable that something will arise that will cause fear at some point in our lives. However, as you may already know, its how we respond to the fear that makes the difference. As a kid, I used to get my ass kicked just about daily, until I decided to make some changes. Since I was already taking a beating, how would striking back and defending myself make matters worse? So I learned to hit back...hard. Interestingly enough, the beatings stopped. Correlation? You tell me.

Today, I live differently. I don't have to fight like that so much. There are other things in life that make me afraid, but those early years, along with some military refining has helped me control fears better, (but not eliminate them, however). Now, I almost have fun with it. Fear lets me take on life challenges that can be rewarding times ten more when you overcome them. I tend to run towards things I fear, which may not be wise at times, but I'm not altogether stupid either.

Art Model, Enyo ©2011 Terrell Neasley

Don't be afraid of the opinion of others. This is especially so, concerning those who should have little influence on your well-being, income, or health.

Don't be afraid of being the only one. It can be lonely to go it alone but you will find out more about yourself, your capabilities, and thereby boosting your confidence. Not everyone has your vision or wants to do what you want to do. That doesn't mean you have to flow with the status quo. Do you.

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. It's where all the fruit is." 

~Shirley MacLaine

Don't be afraid to lose things, people, or money. It's bound to happen and you'll have to accept that fact. Its supposed to be that way when you think about it. People will come and go, but that's not always a bad thing. Things are temporary and you'll always be getting more stuff.

Don't be afraid to try new things. This is how you learn and experience the world.

Art Model, Anne ©2015 Terrell Neasley

Don't be afraid to fail. I've heard is said, "Failure is not the opposite of Success. It is PART of it." You'll make mistakes. Get up and learn from it.

Don't be afraid of the unknown. You don't know everything. In fact, you know very little. Hence, most of the universe is unknown to you. Think about how much you didn't know 5 years ago. The things you know today were unknown to you then. You don't always need to play it safe. Be smart. Get outside the lines a little bit. You'll thank me.

Don't be afraid to start that adventure. Old people don't brag about how many overtime hours they spent at the office. That shit doesn't make for good stories.

Art Model Emese, ©2011 Terrell Neasley

"An artist must be free to choose what he does, certainly, but he must also never be afraid to do what he might choose."

~ Langston Hughes

Don't be afraid to be hated. Not everyone will like you, especially when you start getting good and succeeding. That's just a fact. It means you're likely enjoying yourself. Don't sabotage your own happiness worrying about somebody hating on you.

Don't be afraid of bad circumstances. It happens. Its going to happen again. How you respond to bad circumstances is what makes the bad circumstances permanent or not. And if they are not permanent...why worry?

Don't be afraid to trust yourself. In all actuality, you can't trust yourself, but you should. You're going to fail. You're going to let yourself down. However all that matters is the fact that you still control you. You 100% can't control anyone else. You CAN control you. So that makes you the most trustworthy person alive. Having some self control issues? Well, stop that shit.

Art Model, Melissa ©2009 Terrell Neasley

Don't be afraid to keep learning...from anybody. I learn as much from an 80 year old as I can from an 18 year old. I can't say what I might learn from an 8 year old, but I'm sure its possible, somehow. You won't know it all. Ever. So keep soaking up information and tidbits of wisdom where you find it. Keep your mind open because you'll likely come across it in some of the most unlikely places. Age, social status, economic class, race... if you limit where you can accept learning because of these dividing lines, you limit the potential you can evolve to. Cut that shit out.

Now go handle your business.

Art Model, KristiC ©2016 Terrell Neasley

Do What You Like or Lose That Creative Outlet

Both of these just seemed appropriate today...

Sometime last year, I made the call to stop doing nudes for a while. It actually may have been the year before and I was just settling down in 2009 as I still finished up some promised gigs. Oh-9 got pretty darn hectic which also made slowing down easy... to a crawl in fact. I was working a job with the State that took up a really good chunk of my time. I wasn't shooting anything of much during that spell. There were other projects that kept me busy and some that threw me for a loop. Up til recently, I've worked with 2 models since October of last year. Before then, for all of 2009, I may have worked with 5 total models.

Rework of 2007 version of Dana

I'm not stopping my nude work ever again. This has been the pits getting started back up again. As I said, I've worked with 2 models this year and they were both by request. That sort of jump started me to getting back in the game again, but now I realize just how rusty I am at it. Since March, I'm pretty sure I've had at least 7 maybe 8 models that expressed an interest in doing some work after I initiated the contact and asked them for their consideration. Actually, I should down play that number a bit. Three come to mind who were also ones that contacted me first. All of them however have backed out, for one reason or another. Two chose to not model for anyone at all. One had a husband that objected. One was in school and between working and a toddler, just no longer had the time. Two gave no real reason other than to say they had a change of heart on the matter. Only one was just absolutely rude and wasted my time, by being a no-show twice. I'm not making good selections.

Rework of 2007 version of Elizabeth

Models I've worked with in the past have also not panned out for different reasons, whether that be no time to do it, no longer doing nudes, or they moved away like two Brittanys have done this year. One to New Jersey and another to New Orleans. Good Gracious! What's a photog to do? Keep at it, I guess. Part of the problem has been mine. Aside from quiting doing nudes to begin with, I no longer cultivated the relationships I already had nor did I try to build fresh relationships. I have a tendency to stop looking for new models when I get one that I really click with and get great material. Then when that model isn't available, I'm stuck without anybody to call up. I noticed that last week sometime. I can go through my phone contacts and there's no one to call as opposed to the options I had when I got her in 2007. I know I had listened to some friends who told me they wanted to see more of my work besides just nudes, which is understandable. I don't solely shoot naked women. I'm very proud of my other artistic endeavors as well, especially emotive portraits, landscapes, and abstracts. I love shooting, period. However...Nudes are my thing. Take away a painter's brushes and canvases and see how he feels. Leave a musician without his instruments and see how she behaves after a month. Granted, no one has taken away my camera. So rather, I should say tell the jazz musician he can only play bluegrass.

A simulated scream, Samantha

My point is that I need to stick to my core. I can do everything else as well, but I can't give up my core. It doesn't matter if my core doesn't make me money or win me critical acclaim. It doesn't matter that my nudes won't see a mag cover or centerfold. Its not hanging up on exhibit in exclusive art galleries. The Bellagio Art Gallery has not extended that offer to me yet. Will they ever? Who's to say. The good thing is that I don't do my nudes for recognition from the Bellagio. I do it for me and my model. I care not who else likes or appreciates it. If I achieve the objective I set out for in my head and the model likes what is produced then that mission was a success. I don't want to be in this spot again. While I don't need a bunch of models, I'll make sure I keep relationships cultivated. I'd rather have one to shoot all the time, but even when that one isn't available, there needs to be somebody on the depth charts. The rejections and the change of hearts is just part of the cost of doing business. All this used to come really easy to me and I let it go. I'll get it back.

....Patience, Grasshoppa...

"One of these things is not like the other", Joanie

On another note, I'm killing the ability to make anonymous comments on this blog for a while. I've come up on somebody's spam list and I hate getting all excited about a comment that shows up in my inbox only to find that its spam. That blows. So rather than do the word verification, I'll try this for a while. So, you don't have to have a Blogger ID to comment, but you can't be unknown.

Interestingly enough, yesterday, another guy and myself where commenting on a nude image that was a "behind the scene" type shot. My eyes were drawn to the camera the photographer was using. It was a 50MP Hasselblad H3DII-50. I stated that I wasn't sure why it was necessary to use a $50,000 camera for this shoot and I brought up the fact that there were no elaborate light set-up, no dramatic color scheme that needed the extra capture potential, and the model wasn't especially made up by a make-up artist. The other guy responded, "Dude, you do see the nakkid chick in the picture, right?"

Don't Be Afraid (REPOST FROM 2016)

Art Model, Covenant ©2015 Terrell Neasley

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." 

~ Nelson Mandela

Don't be afraid.

You know I can honestly leave this post at just those 3 words, but anybody who knows me, knows I am never that succinct. I like to use my words, so let me articulate my meaning here. Elocution would serve better, but since I have not as of yet published my work via podcasts, the written word will suffice. As a former Staff Sergeant in the Army, my voice can deliver the intended affect with inflection and tone that deliver my meaning more accurately, but I will try to get my point across, nonetheless. Maybe one day I'll do a speech on the matter. For now...the written word.

Art Model, Samantha ©2011 Terrell Neasley

We all fear. Its inevitable that something will arise that will cause fear at some point in our lives. However, as you may already know, its how we respond to the fear that makes the difference. As a kid, I used to get my ass kicked just about daily, until I decided to make some changes. Since I was already taking a beating, how would striking back and defending myself make matters worse? So I learned to hit back...hard. Interestingly enough, the beatings stopped. Correlation? You tell me.

Today, I live differently. I don't have to fight like that so much. There are other things in life that make me afraid, but those early years, along with some military refining has helped me control fears better, (but not eliminate them, however). Now, I almost have fun with it. Fear lets me take on life challenges that can be rewarding times ten more when you overcome them. I tend to run towards things I fear, which may not be wise at times, but I'm not altogether stupid either.

Art Model, Leslie  Copyright 2016 Terrell Neasley

Don't be afraid of the opinion of others. This is especially so, concerning those who should have little influence on your well-being, income, or health.

Don't be afraid of being the only one. It can be lonely to go it alone but you will find out more about yourself, your capabilities, and thereby boosting your confidence. Not everyone has your vision or wants to do what you want to do. That doesn't mean you have to flow with the status quo. Do you.

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. It's where all the fruit is." 

~Shirley MacLaine

Don't be afraid to lose things, people, or money. It's bound to happen and you'll have to accept that fact. Its supposed to be that way when you think about it. People will come and go, but that's not always a bad thing. Things are temporary and you'll always be getting more stuff.

Don't be afraid to try new things. This is how you learn and experience the world.

Art Model, Anne ©2015 Terrell Neasley

Don't be afraid to fail. I've heard is said, "Failure is not the opposite of Success. It is PART of it." You'll make mistakes. Get up and learn from it.

Don't be afraid of the unknown. You don't know everything. In fact, you know very little. Hence, most of the universe is unknown to you. Think about how much you didn't know 5 years ago. The things you know today were unknown to you then. You don't always need to play it safe. Be smart. Get outside the lines a little bit. You'll thank me.

Don't be afraid to start that adventure. JUST GO! Old people don't brag about how many overtime hours they clocked. Or how many consecutive years they were able to stay under budget at Corporation XYZ.  That shit doesn't make for good stories.

Art Model Chloe Ann Copyright 2017 Terrell Neasley

"An artist must be free to choose what he does, certainly, but he must also never be afraid to do what he might choose."

~ Langston Hughes

Don't be afraid to be hated. Not everyone will like you, especially when you start getting good and succeeding. That's just a fact. It means you're likely enjoying yourself. Don't sabotage your own happiness worrying about somebody hating on you. Katt Williams says the more haters you have the happier you likely are.

Don't be afraid of bad circumstances. It happens. It's going to happen again. How you respond to bad circumstances is what makes the bad circumstances permanent or not. And if they are not permanent...why worry?

Don't be afraid to trust yourself. In all actuality, you can't trust yourself, but you should. You're going to fail. You're going to let yourself down. However all that matters is the fact that you still control you. You 100% can't control anyone else. You CAN control you. So that makes you the most trustworthy person alive. Having some self control issues? Well, stop that shit.

Art Model, Melissa ©2009 Terrell Neasley

Don't be afraid to keep learning...from anybody. I have learned so much from people 80 years old as well as from an 18 year old. I can't say what I might learn from an 8 year old, but I'm sure its possible, somehow. You won't know it all. Ever. So keep soaking up information and tidbits of wisdom where you find it. Keep your mind open because you'll likely come across it in some of the most unlikely places. Age, social status, economic class, race... if you limit where you can accept learning because of these dividing lines, you limit the potential you can evolve to. Cut that shit out.

Now go handle your business.

Art Model, KristiC ©2016 Terrell Neasley

Not for the Faint of Heart - Vagina Talk

Okay, how about something a little unorthodox... Can you handle a whole day of talk about VAGINAS?

Dr. Virginia Braun, Psychology Dept, Univ of Auckland, New Zealand

Sunday was a most interesting day for me. Model, Samantha invited me to a women's conference on Sunday at UNLV called, "Framing the Vulva: Genital Cosmetic Surgery and Genital Diversity". Sam and I have had extensive discussions on the matter and she thought I might be interested in attending this conference. It was put on by UNLV and the New View Campaign, who has a slogan that says: Challenging the Medicalization of Sex.

The goal of the New View Campaign is to expose biased research and promotional methods that serve corporate profit rather than people's pleasure and satisfaction. The Campaign challenges all views that reduce sexual experience to genital biology and thereby ignore the many dimensions of real life.

Morning plenary session, 150 attendee

I gotta tell you it was quite enlightening. Over the years, I've had situations where several models have confided in me about horrid stories regarding the way they look "down there". The conferences main focus this weekend was addressing the negative perception women have about their vaginas that lead them to undergo cosmetic surgery called labiaplasty which is the surgical removal or trimming of the labia minora. I won't go into detail here, but I could share with you a myriad of stories of women as young girls who were traumatized either throughout their childhood or at least at some point in their lives for having labia that hangs out or extends past the vulva more than what some women might deem as being normal. In addition to these experiences, I've had sex classes in college both from a sociological perspective and psychological. So these topics of discussion were not new to me, but it was still interesting to see some of the more recent empirical research and data on this topic.

Dr. Marta Meana, Prof of Psychology, UNLV. Afternoon workshop

"Ewww Factor" Workshop, Dr. Meana, UNLV

2nd Afternoon Workshop "Empowerment Through
Vulva Photography"

The main reason this conference was held was actually as a COUNTER-conference to the Cosmetic Vaginal Surgery Conference that was held this weekend at the Venetian Hotel and Casino which hosted people in the medical profession that promote labiaplasty and other cosmetic surgery of the genitals. This organization points out that there is more commercialization of these procedures as opposed to actual treatment with the individual in mind. They DO NOT like Dr. David Matlock, who you may have seen on Dr. 90210 and the View. He's even got new procedures now that give you a Brazilian Butt. One procedure that was new to me was a means of restoring the pink color back to the labia. We were also presented with lots of great input on why women do this, but the primary focus has been on the societal pressure to appear as the women you see in print media for the pornography industry where depictions of the vagina are on constant display however the trend is for the "clean and neat" vaginas which mean the inner lips are small and are not as visible. Some of the research I didn't totally agree with and some could have been better, but for the most part, they were informative. Discussions during the first half of the day included, Embracing Genital Diversity, Pleasure and Sex Ed, Art Activism, "Retail Medicine", and a critical view of the conference at the Venetian.

Photographer/Sexologist and "Petals" author, Nick Karras,
along with Carolina Ramos and Sayaka Adachi

Sexologist, Sayaka Adachi of San Diego during the
Vulva Photography Afternoon Workshop

For me, the more interesting part of the day was the afternoon sessions where we broke up into separate workshops of which we could select 2 of the 6 activism workshops available. My first session was the "Eww Factor: Clinical Reflections on the Role of Vulva Dissatisfaction/Disgust" done by Dr. Marta Meana, Professor of Psychology, UNLV. My second workshop was "Empowerment through Vulva Photography" which focused on the artwork of photographer/sexologist, Nick Karras who authored, "Petals". Nick was accompanied by Carolina Ramos, Program Director, Latino Services, San Diego LGBT Community Center. Also leading this workshop was Sayaka Adachi, clinical sexologist and orgasm coach also in San Diego. About 150 people attended the conference. It was also a different twist when one of the participants gave some excellent points with reference to how Christians might look at this issue. There is really just too much information that I'm almost tempted to get into, but I think the basics will suffice rather than breaking down the details of each class, topic, and bullet points. Anybody with more interest can visit some of the sites and links or just contact me for more details. Thanks Sam for the invite.