Another Surgery plus 2010 Interview of Me by Karl

"My body could stand the crutches but my mind couldn't stand the sideline."

~ Michael Jordan

Wow. This has been an interesting month so far. I wish I could tell you about all the wonderful shoots I've been on, but alas, such is not the case. Knee surgery has been the theme of the month so far. Weeks of trying to prep for it and now just recovering from it. My daughter and son in law decided to take vacation time to come and assist me for the first week. I didn't think I needed it, really. I was wrong. Pain meds haven't been helping and the doc sees no reason to give me anything stronger, so I've just stopped taking anything all together. This isn't the first time I've had to deal with the VA no understanding the problem. I can't say why I don't respond like they think I should to medication. I wish I was more of a typical case for them, but I'm not.

I don't expect the kiddos had that great of a time trying to accommodate me over the last week. I know I was being a bear. I didn't want to stay seated or immobilized and the thought of having to use the word "can't" for routine tasks tasted bitter in my mouth. It wasn't until reading about my procedure online that the truth sort of sunk in to where I understood it. The docs told me I'd be looking at 6 to 8 weeks. In my mind, that adds up to half that time for me. I'm strong. I recover quicker than most. And I can handle it. 6 to 8 weeks is the general "play it safe" recovery time for the average guy. I couldn't have been more wrong. I had so many other people tell me a simple scope of the knee is an in and out 2 to 3 week thing. Even my primary care doc told me I'd be on my feet in 3 weeks top. So why was the othopedic surgeon saying 6 to 8? Well, what he knew that the others didn't was that he was also performing a Microfracture procedure on my knee, whereby you drill small holes into the larger pot-hole that's already at the end of my femur. This is supposed to encourage bone/cartilage growth to fill in the hole naturally. THAT's the part that takes so long. Weight-bearing activities such as "walking", can prohibit the bone growth. So 6 to 8 weeks ON CRUTCHES is what's prescribed.

I simply had no clue and didn't understand that I'd be on crutches this long. SIX to EIGHT weeks! Wow. I simply cannot get that out of my mind. That possibly puts me all the way out to mid-March! I've already had to postpone two projects to the end of March. I don't know if you realize it, but that also means postponing getting paid til the end of March. Which simply means I gotta slow down spending big time. Personal projects have also been postponed. My continued work with Panda is having to be delayed as well. And I have a couple other models whom I thought I'd be working with around the first week of Feb, that I've had to simple cancel til further notice.


The good thing is that I just have to get through this doing the right things. Its believed that I get another 10 to 15 years of "good knee" time, instead of what I've been dealing with over the last decade. Two months for 10 years. Not a bad trade. To my understanding, this 2 months doesn't include rehabilitation time. I won't find that out til next week. I had 10 weeks rehab for my hand last year. I read in one place where full recovery might not be expected for 6 months! So this'll be interesting.

Karl of "Looking About" blog has reposted an interview he did of me a few years ago. After a look back on that time period, I sort of wonder what my answers might be today and if any of them have changed. Not much would be different, I presume. I think I'd answer the same in about 27 of them at least. Its a good reflection because I was definitely in two different places in 2010 vs today. I was coming out of some pretty hard months in oh-10 and even the 3 years before then. In fact, I think it may even be time for another "Interview of Self" like what I did a long time ago in 2008.

1. What is your favorite word? Altruism
2. What is your least favorite word? Normal
3. What turns you on? A naked woman
4. What turns you off? Clothes!....kidding...People who don't take responsibility for themselves and pass the blame.
5. What sound or noise do you love? Bacon sizzling in the morning would be the least crass answer
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Its a tie between a high-pitched nagging voice and an alarm clock
7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Probably acting, but I used to dream about playing football
9. What profession would you not like to do? There are plenty but I'm going with Nursing. I've got much respect for them, but its not my gift.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Come on....Get your butt on in here!
11. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Traveling the world with boundless resources and a model that I photograph everywhere, all the time
12. What is your greatest fear? I honestly can't say I have one. I mean, I certainly don't want to be eaten by an alligator or fall from the empire state building but they are not fears of mine that I think about all the time. 
13. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Galileo Galilei, just because he's the only person I can think of who was also misunderstood.
14. Which living person do you most admire? Other than family....Billy Graham, Chris St. James, and Bill Cosby (How can you stick with just one?)
15. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Procrastination
16. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Lack of integrity
17. What is your greatest extravagance? I spent $400 on comic books once, but I've since sold my collection and not bought another since 1994, I think.
18. On what occasion do you lie? When I have to take into account someone else's feelings and the truth is not worth the heartache or when I need to be polite because I need the business.
19. What do you dislike most about your appearance? I'm actually cool with myself. If I had to say any one thing its that I look mean when I am not smiling.
20. When and where were you happiest? Christmas at Mama Carrie's as a kid
21. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be? I'd be kinder to people and more understanding
22. If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? Me. That's all I have control over.
23. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Jeremy and Cassie
24. If you died and came back as a person or thing what do you think it would be? As a person: A white female, just so I could experience the opposite of my current self. As far as a thing, I'd want to be a star just for the billions of years galactic experience 
25. What is your most treasured possession? My faith
26. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? A disapproval of yourself because of someone else's opinion
27. Who are your heroes in real life? My Mother
28. What is it that you most dislike? A coward
29. How would you like to die? Old age preferably, but if not, then on my feet in a way that makes it count
30. What is your motto? Stay alert, Stay alive! Hooooah!

From a Recent Conversation

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." 

-- Dave Rudin quoting Albert Einstein to me this past week.

Lissa...she may have been the first grandmother
 I ever worked with

This post could actually be titled "Observations of Self, Part II", now that I see what I've written. I had something else in mind to write about, but this came up instead. A model, that I hadn't shot in a while, and I were talking recently and she suggested that I'm an entirely different photographer. Though miles and miles separate us now, she feels she'd like to shoot with me again just to experience this difference first hand. I hadn't worked with her since I my film days and she brought up some of our conversations that I certainly didn't remember, but can't deny because I knew my line of thought back then. She asked why I had changed so much and said that it bordered on the radical. I countered with a premise suggesting that the change is more due to an evolutionary trend in my work, but she still disagreed. I guess I can see her point, as she began to elegantly make her case.

Point 1: I shoot digital instead of film now and there is much more "added" to my photos than just the shot as is.

This is indeed a big change for a photog. The to different mediums are opposite in many ways. One is analog and the other is not. You shoot entirely different in digital when you expose for light. In film, more info was in the shadows whereas digital the majority of the greater info is towards the right side of the histogram. Well, I don't need to give you a lecture on the differences of digital vs. film. For me the biggest change was in my post work, the editing. I went from an intimate knowledge of film processing back to square one with having to learn new edit techniques using Photoshop. At some point, I guess, I had expressed my distaste for digital work, mainly because of my love for the darkroom. At this point in time, I am beginning to get into my groove with darkroom manipulations, following some of the examples of Jerry Ulesmann, but also some of my own original ideas, playing with textures, double exposures, and sandwiched negatives. I was using fabrics, translucent gels, chemical tones, paint, and other materials to vary  up some of my designs. Doing this via a computer just seemed like cheating and took away the craftsmanship. I argued that if Michaelangelo had used computers to design and carve out his statue of David, he'd be considered a renowned engineer, not an artist.

This is a darkroom manipulation, done with a distressed fabric
overlay fitted in the enlarger and chemical toning. Model, Elizabeth

I guess, I've seen the light now and have begun to pick up where I left off from the darkroom. Now I use layers and masks to do the same thing in Photoshop with the help of a few other key plug-ins. There is still a measure of craftsmanship that is lost, I think, because I am not doing this with my hands anymore, but then again, there's so much more that I am doing that I couldn't do before. I love using layers and textured backgrounds. I particularly have a penchant for distressed papers or parchments that I can overlay an image on, add another texture at varying opacities, and then border it with a vignette or something. I'm limited only by my ability to imagine and envision a project. I can always find a way to create it, even if it takes me all day. I've worked for more than 12 hours straight on a particular effect that just wasn't coming out right which is the same as I'd do in a darkroom, only I'd be going through a box of paper and chemicals in the process. I can't tell you how many times I've had to refresh exhausted developers and fixers on a single image just for a desired effect.

Point 2: I've got models in much more bold poses than I ever did before.

A bold Lissa

This is definitely another true point. This model mentioned how, at the time of our sessions, I'd strongly reconsider working with a model if she was clean-shaven, meaning no pubic hair whatsoever. Now, I have some women showing all their pride and glory. The first part of that statement is not totally accurate. I did sort of start out that way, but quickly realized that since many models were shaved clean, I could  accept it or quit it. I shot many shaved models with film. I can't deny the latter part of her point. Rarely did I do a shot that was too bold in the beginning. I might be a grown man, but hey...my Mama still sees this stuff! I'm in my forties now, and I still got a call at 2am when she discovered one of my shots. This was just earlier this year! No, my goal isn't to start doing porn, but in many of my sessions, I take what the model gives me. I still place the model and direct her as needed, but I like to let her do her thing. Some are simply more bold than others and they may pose more explicitly than someone else who is a little more reserved. Samantha immediately comes to mind. We did recent work in which she doesn't mind everything being out there, but you don't see her doing anything  suggestive.

More conservative, Melanie

A model once told me quite censoring myself and shoot the nude and quit omitting parts of the nude. Its all or nothing. Well, I am sure there are varying opinions of that notion. Many well respected models shoot nudes and never give you a hint of what lies beneath. Others with just as equal respect have no problem with it. I got a comment from one woman who thought showing a woman's secret was disgusting. Other women applauded me. At the very least, I don't mind doing shots like this if I can take the element of sex out of it. Impossible, you say? Maybe...but many see sex in a shot of bare breasts. It's all in the way you present it. I'd rather one see the art behind it, more so than experience a need for a release. If anything, I'm illustrating the model's expression of her saying, "This is me...deal with it." I don't want to deliver an image by which the model is trying to seduce you. With that said, I do want to sometime present an erotic series at some point, but again, heavy on the art, light on the sexual emphasis. I shoot life. Sex is a part of life...an essential part, actually, but as of yet, I don't think I have the ability just yet to illustrate sex in art without it becoming pornographic. So despite some of the more explicit poses I shoot, I still draw a line.

Point 3: My Model Choices

Model, Lissa

Now this is one point, I know I can disagree with. The model's initial suggestion was that I only shot girls that were glamorous, but in a non-glamor fashion. What she meant was that I shot women who were perfect 10s only I didn't add in the make-up, hair, and other adornments. Now she sees the older women and women of various sizes. Well, I did shoot petite and well-developed women but I never restricted myself to women like that. I think she missed the large woman with the tattoos that I worked with and she didn't know about the couple in their 50s that I shot on their back wood estate as a commission. She likes the recent work I've done with Joanie, but I had to correct her in that one of my first pieces that I considered great was of another woman similar to Joanie. (I only have mounted prints of that model with no scans). She saw that I now have Black women in my portfolio...few, but still some. Again, I did shoot one Black woman early on in my film days. Shooting the Sistas ain't easy. Its HARD to get a black woman to pose nude. I thought being a Black photog, it would be a cinch! Ahh, no... That's a hard sell. Well, its at least been so with me. Most attribute it to upbringing, but I am sure there are other reasons why as well, but this blog post is already getting lengthy.

Model, Lissa

I like intriguing women of all various shapes and sizes. I won't say I can shoot anybody, but my range is pretty wide. I weigh my selection of models by what's on the inside of them just as well as what they look like on the outside, if not more so. Attitude goes a long way. In my art, my concentration is on form and shape and what I might be able to do with it using light and shadow, as well as how it interacts or balances with the surrounding area. I can get shapes out of most any model by positioning them, using angles, and in how they are lit. I actually shy away from most glamor shots. Its not my thing. As natural as possible is the way I like to shoot. Exceptions about here and there, but that's primarily it. I gravitate toward the imperfections. Scars, tats...I can work with that. Some of my first models had perfect bodies, but its not anything I needed and I think that's a contributing factor of why potential models are more comfortable with me. They can see themselves in my work more so than they can a photog who's port is filled with glamor and fashion.

So I know I've changed and I've blogged on this before. I still see it as more of an evolution than becoming a totally different photographer. This model whom you've probably never seen before, is someone I'd love another crack at. You haven't seen her because I have a standing agreement that no images can be on the web. It was one of my first agreements like that, before I had a blog, website, or any online profiles. I can exhibit her prints in a contest or gallery, but the web is a no-go. I no longer make those agreements! Also, I thought I'd throw in another "How It Should Have Ended" short clip. This one parodies, "Inception".

A Lesson Learned - Flying First Class

I'm just getting back in from Texas where I got to shoot a wedding in a beautiful building in Dallas, the Weisfeld Center. I learned a little something about handling business. Sometimes, its not an excessive luxury to fly first class. I used to look at first class seats as a way for people with means to have another excuse to separate themselves from the rest of the world. It seemed frivolous to pay so much extra to fly in front. What's the big deal that you get to board first. I once flew coach in an assigned seat that was near the first class section. I hated how the flight attendant closed the curtain as I happened to be starring into the front cabin. All that was to me was an airlines attempt to play favorites with one class of people in order to charge them enough to make up for all the losses in everything else. I also would laugh at the $3 bag of chips and a $6 bottle of water they would bring us back in coach.

But on this flight, I was introduced to another perspective of the first class option. The concept actually hit me when I was visiting a model in her new home. She has a boyfriend living with her who is a Titanic freak and I don't think he would mind me saying so. Well, I noticed in his memorabilia that he had in his possession a few White Star tickets ranging from a first class to 3rd class. In today's dollars, the price difference seemed negligible, but I would imagine the $5 to $10 difference between classes meant a lot more. I still came to the conclusion that it would still be worth it to find some means to come up with the difference and get better accommodations. Therefore, I responded positively to the unexpected offer to upgrade my seat as I operated the automated kiosk to get my boarding pass. I paid the extra money since my trip was an all expenses paid deal.

As I had to lug around my two carry-ons of camera equipment and personal sundry items, I justified my selection in that I had camera gear in both bags. The last thing I wanted to do was to be one of the last ones to board in coach and not have any overhead or under seat place to store my gear. At that point, they normally offer to take your bag and check it into the cargo hold. There was no way I was going to let my gear get checked. In first class, I boarded first and had plenty of room to store both my bags overhead. They were asking coach passengers to not place two bags on top if they could help it, but rather to place one was preferred under foot. Well, that's another point of protest for me. I busted up my left knee in the military. If I fly on any area of the plane other then on the right side in an aisle seat, you'll be wheeling me off the plane or throwing me over your shoulder in a fireman's carry. I've got to have that room to flex my knee or else I'm in pain...big-time. I've flown next to the window on the left side of the plane in first class and had no pain at all.

Another contention is the reduced stress of flying when you are travel first class. Packing, driving through heavy traffic to get to the airport, parking, going through security is already enough to make you into a stress ball. You're in no mood to deal with a client when you arrive at your destination. On the trip going to Texas, we were immediately served a heated assortment of deluxe nuts in a ceramic bowl. There was not one peanut in the bunch. Somebody came by more than necessary to ask me if I wanted something else to drink...alcoholic or not. I got a glass of Merlot at one point, but turned down another one. That would have been $16 in coach. My point is that when I got off the plane, it didn't matter so much that the plane arrived later than expected, or that my car rental wasn't already fully paid (by the client) when I got there. My demeanor was affected only slightly that I had to make other arrangements on my own. Had I been flying coach, I'd still be locked up right now and only imagining that I was writing this blog post about wishing I had flown first class.

Bringing Back Lissa

"This then: to photograph a rock, have it look like a rock, but be more than a rock. "

- Edward Weston

" Why"

Thought I'd bring back Lissa for an encore. Times are getting tougher every day it seems and she was on my mind today. I was supposed to have a visit with her today to give her a disk of out first shoot, but plans had to change. This was one of those "good time" shoots, because we had a really good time doing it. She's such a natural for posing and is very comfortable with herself. Talking with her during the whole shoot made time pass so quickly that I didn't realize that 7 hours had passed. I was in need of rest and hadn't slept the night before. I was shooting Lissa on fumes, but we had such a good time that I completely lost track of the passing hours. Before I knew it, it was time for me to shower and go to work.

I am hoping to get to work with her on location somewhere soon. She's tied up with some other concerns at the moment, so her schedule is sort of hectic. Some of the best models I have shot were like that. You lock them down for a shoot one day, but good luck trying to get them back again for a while. Its been at least 3 weeks, I think since I've worked with Lissa. We've kept in contact, but I sincerely hope its not another 3 weeks before we shoot again. She's fascinating.

I stand corrected on Imagens. I reported a few posts ago that that blog was done. However, before his blog has had a chance to collect dust, he's unretired it and back to posting. Go figure. Well, its good to have him back anyway.

I noted that Iris Dassault and the Women of Avalon have now been censored by the Content Warning Cover Monster. I am not sure as to whether or not Google is being fair about all this. I don't know what criteria they use to say you are offensive and we need to protect the public from you with a one click irritating page in front of your blog. I don't know what I'll do if that occurs to me. I've seen some bloggers jump ship and head over to WordPress just on principle alone. Maybe that's what Google wants. Who knows. At some point, I think we are all going to get it and be faced with that decision. Take it and ignore it...Business as usual, OR object...close down the blog and move elsewhere. Rich and Lin Bang of Fluffytek host their own blog inside their website. Its certainly an idea. My webpage uses a template service, ifp3.com. Its a bit harder for me to do at the moment I think. Ifp3 has been making strides by leaps and bounds over the past 6 months. Lots of new features, capabilities, and services have been added that give you the option of more personized web pages. They are still adding features and growing.

I've also been excited to see Chris St. James at it on a daily basis over there on his home front, Univers d'Artistes. After being gone about 6 months, he's been catching up with a fierceness. Normally, I think he'd post maybe twice a week. Check him out now and see how many posts he has in the last week. The man is a machine. I've even gotten a few of my shots posted by him. Too cool. Thats like a shot of adrenaline for my blog and website every time he does that. Thanks, Chris.

Come to think of it, my friend Garrett, the Nikonian, has been out of touch lately. I met him when he signed up for my first photo workshop and he's taken off ever since. This big guy is really cooking in terms of managing his day job with his insatiable desire to shoot. I can't hate on him, that he's packing a D3 and has every lens you can think of, but damn, who wouldn't. Garrett has been a good find for me when I got here to Vegas. He's put me in contact with some great people and basically, you can thank him that I'm even talking to you right now. I mentioned before that he was responsible for the computer for which I now continue to entertain, explain, and otherwise regale you with photo adventures. He took my fried computer tower to his best bud, and WALLA... I'm sporting a new tower AND a flat screen. I know, he's still chomping at the bit waiting for Nikon to release the newer version, the D3x sometime soon. I've given some strong consideration to switching to the Nikon system. Garrett is all about Nikon and I get kidded by him and several of the others at our Saturday gatherings at B&C Camera for shooting Canon, but now I have to really consider the new Canon 5d Mk II, thats due to hit the shelves in November. We'll see how it stacks up.

Welcome to TNAP, Lissa

"Lissa in Portraiture"

I really love what I am doing in photo right now. I'm still behind on my editing. I'm getting the crap beat out of me working the night shift. I'm short of cash on hand. And I'm still transitioning from the lifestyle of one residence into that of a new one. I can't tell a Thursday from a Tuesday and right now, I should be in bed. But what am I doing instead... trying to entertain and share with you on my blog. Why, *coming back full circle*, because I really love what I am doing in photo right now.

One of the reasons I like this is because right now, I don't have any expectations. I have dreams, desires, passions, and loves. I crave some new equipment. But I don't really have expectations. This is not income driven. I am not under someone else's deadline. I'm not prepping for contests trying to beat submission deadlines. I have the option to shoot what I like. Though its not always easy, I get to shoot a model most any time I need. I love that women are comfortable enough with me to pose for me. I know part of the reason for this is because when they look through my portfolio, they can see themselves in it. Its not full of all the high fashion glamour. I mainly use the girl you might see driving past your car on the interstate on her way to work at the local Five and Dime. They can identity with what I do, is what I think.

I've got great mentors, like Dave Rudin, Iris Dassault, and Chris St. James; all of whom have had integral involvements in launching my site and blog. I might add again, that its good to have Chris back. He's got to make another trip to the hospital, and has given me permission to post on Univers d' Artistes! I don't know what I'll do with all that power. All I can think of is Uncle Ben telling Peter Parker, "With great power comes great responsibility!". Anyway, since then, I've made several other connections via the web, my Las Vegas Art Models Group, The Las Vegas Photographic Society, and more. I've held figure drawing venues in the World Market Center that were perused by people of influence who eventually commissioned work from some of the attending artists and established deeper connections for more paid work and sales. This, all in just my first year.

So photographically speaking, I really have nothing to complain about. Well, maybe except wanting to do it more and have the time to do it. I just need to be patient with it and learn to better work with what I have. My personal life has left me unable to think at times. Even then, I've had my good friends Felix and Summer to think for me. I kid you not: I've been so exhausted lately, I've made some blunders. Felix and Summer have been there to smack me with a good one across the cheeks to wake me back up. Jeff has been a blessing to allow me into his home when things got too dicey at my own, even though money has been tight as hell. So what adjustments has he had to make to living with a new roommate, well twice just this past week, he's come home to discover naked chicks lounging around the house. Not bad, huh.

Speaking of which, this is Lissa, one of the naked chicks lounging around on Jeff's furniture. I think she's a pretty remarkable woman. I contacted her because she's a member of the Group and we don't have many group members model who actually model. I've been going through deleting out members who are inactive or never do anything or make any contributions. Lissa had a pic posted and I asked her about doing some actual modeling. She's done a little bit before, but nothing on a regular basis. We interviewed last week and I shot her in Jeff's place. That was the longest shoot I'd done in quite some time. It was the way she looked into the lens that had me releasing the shutter so many times. I was doing this without ANY sleep from the night before. Maybe it shows in my work, but I think I got some really good shots. As soon as I get half way done with her edits, I'm getting her back out here for some more. She's a lovely muse.

Oh and my website doubled in traffic for the month of August! Yeah, I'm lovin' it.