Long Term Effects of Posing Nude: About Body Image

Anonymous Model, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

 "The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people." 

~ Jamie Lee Curtis

An interesting young lady, photography student in the UK, contacted me earlier this week and asked about some comments I made on Alex B's blog post "Therapeutic or Artistic". Alex was discussing the reasons why we pose nude and I made offered my sentiments. She runs a fabulous blog, by the way. Genea Bailey found my comment interesting and asked me about my experience and opinion where models site a confident boost from modeling with me. She wanted to know the long term effects of whether or not these feeling are a lasting and positive change of self-image or if the moment is only temporary.

It does raise an interesting question and I hadn't really contemplated this issue from the perspective of her query. "Long Term Effects"...

Anonymous Model, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

I don't know anyone who has done any in-depth study and analysis on this matter and I'd challenge anybody to show me empirical evidence to back up their findings if they had. Not because I'd have an automatic dispute, but because I REALLY would like to know and would certainly want to research their findings that substantiate their claims. I'll be following Miss Bailey's work very closely and would love to even collaborate even further on the matter. You can check out her post which includes my responses from our email correspondence. >> "My Chat with T. L. Neasley" <<

I almost wish I had given more thought to her questions. I think I answered too quickly. I gave her my "off the top of my head" response. The more I think about it, the more I contemplate the different women I've shot and wonder how they may feel now after having worked with me. I used to ask some models to fill out a quick survey which recorded how they felt immediately after working with me, but I don't think I've asked this of many models after several years. I'm still in contact with many of them and not all had self-esteem issues to begin with. Not everybody who worked with me as did it for a confidence booster. It would still be interesting to know how some of these women feel who did a one time project with me. Several posed nude only once and never did it again. Not because anything bad happened, but because they got it out of their systems. It was never more than a one-time thing.

“One day I had to sit down with myself and decide that I loved myself no matter what my body looked like and what other people thought about my body. I got tired of hating myself."

~ Gabourey Sidibe, (from the movie, "Precious")

Anonymous Model, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

I've often pondered getting with some of the models whom were my firsts. I'd SOOO love to shoot with some of them again just to see how I might do them differently. I've learned so much since I shot my first nude model November of 2005. I was using a cheap film camera and kit lens that may have cost me about $400. I have flash guns that cost more than that. Interestingly enough, a few of those projects remain the best work I've done to date. Some, you will never see because they do not exist in digital form as per the agreement I made with two models. I have never made an agreement like that since, but the work I did with them was also incredible. These works only exist in print form which I developed and mounted myself. Actually, let me correct that statement. One of them did eventually allow me to post images as long as they remained anonymous. I miss those days of film. I drove to Colorado last year to work with one of my original models again, but things did not pan out and we were not able to meet after I arrived. I've come close a few times to working again with a few other former models of my days before Vegas and have only repeated projects with one former model. In the meantime, I will contact some of these girls and see how things have been since then.

I do know that I've worked with models since coming to Vegas who have had body image and self-esteem issues. I've done incredible work with them and the affects have been varying. As I eluded to in Miss Bailey's post, I think much of the sustainability of any improved confidence is heavily weighted on the cause of the lack of confidence. For instance, one model compared herself to others was encouraged when she saw my pics of her that showed her she was just as beautiful. On the other hand, that same confidence of another model, while much improved initially, was not reinforced at home because of her choice in men. So its my opinion that any measure of confidence will be dependent on the environment in which the model finds herself in.

But now, I have to find out on my own more details on this question. Thanks so much Genea Bailey!

The Fantastic Anonymous Nude

“There are those who so dislike the nude that they find something indecent in the naked truth.”  

– F. H. Bradley

Anonymous Model, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

When I first started shooting nudes several years ago, I based it on a partnership with my models. Everybody else’s interests come secondary to that notion. My job has been to do the best I can to create images that the model can appreciate and use for their portfolios or private interests. That can mean helping them advance and promote their careers or just giving them something to hang on their walls at home. Nonetheless, I do what I can to help promote the art model and their services. That’s what the Las Vegas Art Models Group was all about when I created it and ran it for three years.

Sometimes I get the privilege to work with a model  that doesn't want the recognition but would love to participate in the creative processes that I use to create artistic imagery based on the nude.  For their own private reasons they would prefer the anonymity to the promotion. Instead of recognition, they would rather go incognito.  My responsibility is to not only respect and protect that decision but to also admire it. Responsibility to admire?? Yes, I take it as a responsibility to admire.

“Being naked approaches being revolutionary; going barefoot is mere populism.”  

– John Updike

Anonymous Model, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

The Anonymous Model is becoming a bigger part of my workflow and I like it. Sometimes that’s the only deal-breaker in the decision to model or not.  Anytime I can make that decision easier, more simple, or otherwise oriented in my favor, I’m all for it. More times than not, the best shots come from the anonymous. It can even be argued that taking the identity out of the artwork is actually makes for a better piece than one where the model is identifiable. The position stems from the notion that the artwork is more important than the model. Light, shadow, form, shape, composition, balance… these are elements in artwork that mean the most. Bringing in the model’s identity might actually be a distraction within the artwork rather than lending support to it. This is not the case in every art nude, of course. If you look through the majority of my work, you’ll see that many of my models identity is reveals. Actually, let me rephrase that because a face revealed does not mean an identity revealed, especially since I never use last names and I only use the alias requested by the model.

“What spirit is so empty and blind that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?”  

- Michelangelo

Anonymous Model, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

But the Anonymous model can be photographed several ways. It could mean the face is fully revealed, but there may simply be no alias tied to the image. Or it could mean there are no facial features. I've had some models who've requested I compose out or crop out their heads entirely.  I can use hair, props, or simply strategic angles to hide faces if necessary. The rest may require creative Photoshop or post op techniques to hide a face. It doesn't matter how it’s done, or the reasons why a model may require anonymity. I just love doing it.

A Comment About Validation

Art Model and Competitive Fitness Athlete, Dominique Furuta © 2011 Terrell Neasley

"A lot of people say this honor validates my career, but I didn`t work hard for validation."

- Baseball Hall of Famer Ryne Sandberg in his acceptance speech in 2005

One of the popular blogs I follow is Photofocus by master photog, Scott Borne. The guy consistently puts out the best in credible commentary for photographers. His writing is superb and he's got a strong history of talent and experience to back it up. He did a post about a week or so ago, "Photographers – Validation is Overrated", but I'm just now getting to write about it. It was going to be my THIRD point in my last blog post, but I didn't think it should be crowded with other material. This one is a stand-alone.

Art Model and Competitive Fitness Athlete,
Dominique Furuta © 2011 Terrell Neasley

At any rate, this is a conclusion I reached a long time ago. I haven't made all the best decisions in my life. As a young man, I had more than my share of screw-ups, mistakes, and otherwise bone-head decisions. However, I did learn early on that VALIDATION was something that wasn't going to be a priority on my timetable. Now I predicate that point with this caveat: I acknowledge there will always be some form of validation that we seek. It may be approval from a parent, coach, or mentor. My point, however has to do with the misguided reasons people have for needing validation as a form of acceptance or permission to move forward. As a young fresh-out-the-can soldier, I already had my 3 main goals I wanted to achieve before I entered the military. In fact, I can back up to age 7 when I first told my grandma I was gonna be a soldier. Nobody believed me when I said I would join the Army. We didn't have a lot of military in my family but I didn't wait on anybody's approval to do it. I made rank fast and didn't give a damn about seniority, except for where Army regulations mandated it. I was a leader of men at a young age with older soldiers subordinate to me.

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” 

― Confucius

"Practice, research, go to workshops, take classes, believe in yourself. Improve by study, trial and error and go out there shooting."... reads one segment of Scott Borne's blog post. This was the way I operated my military career and its the same with my photography. This has been a recent point of interest for me concerning contests. I won twice in the last year with two international contests (B&W Spider Awards and Photography Masters Cup), each being recognized for 3 or 4 of my images. In both contests, I took a 2nd place category finish. It felt good to be acknowledged. Getting  Honorable Mention for one of my Nudes was by far even better than either of my 2nd Place finishes. I received invitations to participate in each of them again, but I declined them this time.

Art Model and Competitive Fitness Athlete,
Dominique Furuta © 2011 Terrell Neasley

Art Model and Competitive Fitness Athlete,
Dominique Furuta © 2011 Terrell Neasley

Why did I decline to submit more work? I couldn't find a good reason to enter again. I didn't feel a need to try to get a First Place award. I didn't think I needed any further validation of my work. I entered the first time as a change of pace and I had friends doing it. I think I'd rather concentrate my efforts on exhibits instead of contests. Some contests do lead to exhibits, I know. And maybe exhibits are another form of validation for some people. The difference is that I'm not looking for any curator, art director, or notable jury to tell me my work is good. I already feel like its good, else I'd have no desire to show it. I can always get better and improve, but its not always about that. For me, its change. Sometimes I just want to do something different and then show that. And then do something else different and show that. Trust me, some people don't like the new stuff at times, but I don't stop. If I like it and my model likes it, then I count that as a success.

Don't wait on other people to approve of you before you move forward. I've had to take those initial steps without the validation of peers and the public before. You get over it real quick. Stay true to yourself and if its what you love, then damn all the rest. Get crackin' even if it hurts a little in the beginning. Don't be afraid to walk alone when you know you have to.

"If you want to go make photographs…go do it. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you it’s okay! You don’t need anyone else’s permission or validation. No anonymous jerk on a camera club forum can stop you. You just need to believe in your heart that you have something to share. So what are you waiting for? As always, I’m rooting for you!" 

- Scott Borne, paraphrasing Seth Godin

All I Ask is a Tall Ship...

(One of my favorite quotes of all time...)

"There are three perfect shapes in the world … the hull of a boat, a violin, and a woman's body."    —Charis Wilson quoting Varda

Art Model, Dana © 2007 Terrell Neasley

"Ships are the nearest things to dreams that hands have ever made."   

- Robert N. Rose

I'm gonna double up here for a bit and catch you up on a couple of points. Well, maybe actually THREE!

My good friend John Kompare, another accomplished photog, sent me an email that has me wondering about my some of my future priorities. You can catch John's blog at this link. He forwarded me a newsletter to a sailing club offering to train you up on basic sailing and cruising at a really good deal. I want so badly to take advantage. I'm sure I mentioned this before, but maybe I didn't. At some point in 2014, I want my travels to hit the water. I want to be on my own boat sailing the South Pacific starting from Chile, to Easter Island and then heading out West. I still have to learn to sail and then I need to get a good boat. Trying to balance that with some of my land-loving travel plans may be problematic on my time table. I am heading back to Central America this year and plan to tour South America next year along with a short stint in Israel. All that doesn't leave a lot of time nor money for sailing. So I have to better organize my thoughts and priorities.

"A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat' "    

- Stephen Wright

Art Model, Dana © 2007 Terrell Neasley

This also ties in with my second topic. Two nights ago, I got to hang out at the Hard Rock with some really good friends. I won't even get started on the party we had the week before. I was a mess. This week however was a bit more civilized and all I had was coke. But my bud Pierre-Luc is an aerialist here in Vegas with one of the Cirque shows. He and I were talking about travel and he mentioned that he's traveled world-wide quite often over the last few years, taking extensive trips in Europe and Southeast Asia at least 7 times. He's a young man. I asked him why he's made traveling so important in his life. What was his answer? Just that...LIFE! This is a man who spends exhilarating hours in the air performing up to 5 or 6 nights a week, doing two shows a night. His skill has to be impeccable. His timing must be absolutely perfect and his rigging has to be without even the slightest defect. A simple slip, to be off in his timing, or faulty rigging can prove disastrous in his profession.

Art Model, Anonymous © 2007 Terrell Neasley

"Bad cooking is responsible for more trouble at sea than all other things put together."

- Thomas Fleming Day

Art Model, Anonymous © 2007 Terrell Neasley

But this is exactly what happened just a few years ago around the time we were first introduced. Faulty rigging resulted in a 30 foot fall onto his head. This is why he travels. He has since healed and is back in the air. And now he takes some time to experience the world. Keep in mind we're not talking about an accountant or marketing executive. We are speaking to a man who's already living life on the edge and he's talking about experiencing life. How many of the rest of us live life making future promises? How many of us are saving up for that life experience that we never make time for beyond a trip to Disneyland? Ever notice how that savings account keeps getting tapped into because "something else came up"? Something will always come up. Sometimes it might take a significant emotional experience to give us that bump we need to get out of our normal routines and do the stuff we dream of doing. I'm not saying you need to build a bucket list. I'm just saying I wish more of us were actually doing the things that make us happy and not putting off these things til the kids leave the house, or until you get that next promotion. There is a big difference between living life and just being alive. To truly live is more than simply surviving. I'm not saying travel is YOUR answer. You may hate traveling, but there IS something you love to do which is that "thing" that you've always talked and dreamed about. Find a way. Make your path. Do this. Now.

I'll save my third thing for later.

So What's Next?

More of Faerie from some shots I'm just now getting to edit

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."

- Erma Bombeck

That is a good question. The goal is to definitely implement travel into my business and integrate it into my lifestyle. I already mentioned my desire to head back to Guatemala with a model for two weeks. But beyond that, I'm not certain. I can't say that I feel done with Central America just yet. There are 7 countries there and I've only visited 2. I'd think Honduras would be a priority. Can't say I'm feeling Costa Rica has been on my mind to do some volunteering. El Salvador and Nicaragua would be next. I've been to Panama already, but only from a military perspective.

I think of everywhere I could travel, Central and South America appeal to me most. I need to get serious about learning Spanish. I mean, dang. I was raised in Texas. I've been in Las Vegas for 5 years. How is it that I don't already speak the language? You'd think just from hearing it so often you'd learn it like a baby. I even got German down fairly well while I was there for almost 4 years. Wait...let me take that back. I could order food and tell a cab driver where I wanted to go. But I was getting it down. Don't ask me anything in German now, though. That was 20 years ago. But back to my point, I need to make a more concerted effort to prioritize my language skills. And why stop with just Spanish?

Art Model, Faerie

In the meantime, what's next is getting back to work and building my photography business with the core and staple services I known for. I need to push myself in ways that go beyond the typical and outside my comfort zone. Granted, I believe I've been doing that, but in the process I got comfortable again, so its time for another evolution. I still feel behind for the year. I missed the first 4 months of the year. I did a teaching assignment for a month in May and had about 4 projects or so between mid-April til I left in July for Central America. From an artistic perspective, I talked a few months back about doing more self-portraits. I need to work some nudes in there too. We're in month 9 of this year and I think I've only done a single nude project with a model. Make that two. I got to work with Panda a week after my surgery in January, just before all the real pain started kicking in. I only did 7 nudes all of last year, which is the least amount of projects I've ever done since I first began shooting nudes. So between now and the end of the year, I need to get at least 10 more.

"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches."

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Art Model, Faerie

What else is next? Outside of travel, doing my art, and working my business... nothing. That's where all my concentration is for now and I've got lots more to do. There's enough on my plate to keep me occupied and gainfully-employed if I can just handle those aforementioned taskings. Maybe I can add in there objectives to maintain my sanity and minimize the disturbance to my calm. I think better that way and thus increase creativeness, efficiency, and productivity. Oh, I guess I can add in there getting healthy. The knee surgery didn't pan out as well as hoped and now I have some rotator cuff issues in my right shoulder. I hate being slowed down this much, but I am trying not to push it. Too look at me, you'd never be able to tell I am so broken. Just last night, talking to a couple at a bar, they commented that I obviously must work out. Yeah, right. At the moment I'm running off a lifestyle of strenuous physical activity, genetics, and God's Grace. But all that ain't going to hold up if I don't get fixed and get back to my regular activities soon. So I guess I had better add that onto the list of priorities. Be cool. Get healthy. Oh and also get the iPhone 5. Yeah, that's all.

A Few More Points on Central America

Standing in front of the main waterfall at Seven Altars, Guatemala

Midnight shot, Hopkins, Belize

I can spend the rest of the year talking about Central America. I've got so many pics and videos to keep content fresh for the next six months. But that's not all that this blog is about. However, let me just say a few more things. In all the beautiful surroundings that is Guatemala and Belize, there were three things that were nonetheless heartbreaking to see. First and foremost was the disparity of wealth. Now let me predicate this with the fact that I admit this was my first visit and I did not see all of the country. I have not done an national economic study on any of the countries to back up my opinion with discrete facts. That being said, I didn't see, nor did I have the impression, that there was a large middle class. This means that I'm thinking the majority the people will fall on the outlying edges of the economic scale. The distribution of wealth seemed to me to be heavily skewed towards the right side of the bell curve. On one side of the river you find elaborate boat houses and on the opposite side, I'll just say it can be pathetic. I even began to consider weather or not my presence as a tourist in some way exploited the poor of the region. Make no mistake, this is the system. I'll be back. I'll be more educated, more informed, and better prepared upon my return.

“Nakedness reveals itself. Nudity is placed on display. The nude is condemned to never being naked. Nudity is a form of dress.”

 - John Berger 

Kids playing just off the Rio Dulce

The second thing has to do with the poor condition of dogs in just about every city I visited. Sometimes conditions were so deplorable that you can see rotting flesh on some of these animals. Heather and I were almost attacked a couple of times by a pack of dogs, once in San Miguel and once in Finca Ixobel, though the Finca Ixobel dogs were owned by a tourist family. I was very pleased to see Ismael, who manages Casa Rosada in Livingston who has taken it upon himself to launch a tremendous effort to bring in Veterinarians from the U.S. to volunteer to come help heal, cure, spay, and neuter the animals, and educate the local population and owners of the importance of taking better care of their pets. Ismael is volunteering to host these Vets with free lodging and food for their services. This man is such a great guy!

And thirdly, I learned for the first time about the importance of saving our coral reefs. Admittedly, any time I have heard about it before, I didn't really put much care into the notion. However, upon seeing the dead field of reefs while snorkeling a half mile off Tobacco Caye, it became suddenly a disparaging sight. It was awe-inspiring to witness the life amongst the corals as I swam around sting-rays and barracuda. The water was crystal clear, the marine life was so colorful and beautiful... and then everything turns gray and looks devoid of life. I'm a fan of coral reefs now. Please be conscious of your actions when swimming through or over them and help protect our reefs.

"The first time I added the art nude to my landscape photography it was as if I had added a soul, they took on a life and became much more than the sum of each. I was looking over the images after a photo shoot, I could hardly believe my own eyes and the beauty I had captured."  - David Winge

Canoeing through mangroves, just off the Rio Dulce

I'm not sure when I'll get back to Guatemala. I'd like to say I'll be back in November. I've got one thing holding me up though. I feel like I need a model. It may be pathetic of me to say, but I think I'm having a more difficult time appreciating how gorgeous some of the areas I visit is when I don't have a nude model to accompany me. During this last trip, I could not shake that notion from my mind. Yes, its beautiful to see. Yes, the waterfalls are gorgeous. I know the rivers, jungles, and cabins are precious to witness. But I need a nude model. Gotta have it. Can't get around it. It must be done. The perfect situation? A new client hires me to accompany and follow her around to do just this and defers to my creative expertise and gives me complete artistic liberties to produce a collaborative work of art for the ages!

Yeah, so I thought it might also be cool to post a short video interview of Heather Rae upon our arrival in Hopkins, Belize. I had to reduce the quality to get it within Blogger's size requirements, so I'll need to work around that next time. Check it out. You just might learn something. BTW, the place we are staying here in Hopkins is the Lebeha Drumming Center & Cabanas. And more on her discussion of the History of the Garifuna people.

Central America Part II

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway. 

- Steven Coallier

Chillin' on my cabin deck,  Tabacco Caye

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” – Tim Cahill

(And this is the pivotal principle that I learned was most important on my trip.)

I'm back!

Central America was quite the experience and you know what? I think I have to go back and visit again, possibly in November. Guatemala to be specific. Traveling like this has its own unique challenges. I was gone for a month but it seemed so much longer. Re-acclimating to being back stateside was another challenge in itself. Stepping back into your regular life and catching up on mail, missed phone calls, and ongoing life issues is not an easy task.

Volcán de Fuego, Antigua, Guatemala

In the last blog post, I wrote from San Miguel in Guatemala. That was maybe the halfway point my trip. I had visited Semuc Champey and Tikal, but then the next stop was Finca Ixobel which was a couple days of not-so-much-fun. From our initial arrival it was bad. We were going to be there for 4 nights, but we were informed that the hotel had given away our rooms for the last two nights due to a larger group coming in. There was no sense of remorse. No discounts for the two nights they did give us... not even an apology. Nothing about the two nights we stayed there was satisfactory.

Things did improve at Casa Rosada in Livingston, Guatemala. Ismael was so helpful and accommodating that we stayed extra time there before heading to Belize. I had quite the experience there on more than one occasion. In fact, I was invited back for special accommodations. So yes, this is one of the reasons I need to return.

Pier, Islaverde Hotel, Lake Atitlan, Guatemala

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

We took a boat from Livingston, Guatemala to Punta Gorda, Belize. From there we bused to Hopkins, a coastal city with surprising accomodations considering the appearance. Hopkins isn't a wealthy town by any means. The bus drops you off 4 miles outside of town and we literally had to hitchhike in. We were fortunate because it has just started to rain and a guy in a truck picked us up. Its actually a common thing. They pull over and we throw our bags in the back and hop in. They city looks like it could use a little fixing up, but you won't find a better pork chop on the planet that will compete with the ones you get at Frog's Point. A half mile on up the road we found the   Lebeha Drumming Center & Cabanas where we met Dorthy who showed us our cabanas located on a private beach. The North end of the town is definitely the preferred stay as its less busy and less populated. I'd definitely recommend renting bikes to get to and fro the restaurants on the South end. After only 2 nights I was sorry to leave. But we were on our way to Tobacco Caye, a 5 acre island about an hour off the coast.

Tabacco Caye was the most relaxing place I visited during the entire trip. We stayed there for 4 nights, but after the 2nd day, you're hunting for something to do because you began to feel guilty for sleeping so much. It simply can't be helped. You just want to lay down and doze off. Our huts were over the water, so you heard the constant crashing of waves on the shoreline under you. The hammock on the back deck overlooking the clear water was astonishing. All sorts of marine life would swim just below your feet.

Midnight shot off Main Pier, Tabacco Caye

We traded this smallest island in the South for the largest island in the North, Ambergris Caye. The place was a bit too touristy for my taste. The first thing you notice was all the people with roller luggage instead of backpacks. After we got to our rooms we ventured out and found some guys who took our deposit for some tours for the next two days. Sailing, snorkeling, zip-lining, and cave-tubing were now on schedule. Yes, there were hurricane warnings but these guys were certain, we could get these tours in before the rain started. That night, our hotel told us to get packed up and prepared to leave the island the next morning because orders were given to evacuate because of Hurricane Ernesto. Our 100% totally refundable deposit was gone. The trick now was to get the hell off the island and find another place to stay. However with so many people now looking for rooms, Heather Rae and I elected to simply cut the trip short and head back stateside. It took some considerable effort, but we got up early the next morning, made the boat out and got to the airport taking the 2nd flight out of the country. Obviously, we made it out of there. I spent some time traveling to visit family in Tennessee and Texas before finally returning to Las Vegas. Now may challenge is simply to assemble and edit all these pics and videos!

Central America 2012

Lancha ride back to Chal Hun Ta Hostel, San Miguel, Guatemala,
Photo by Heather Rae, In Search of Squid

Well, I think I mentioned that I had a big summer planned. I am currently starting my second week in Guatemala at the moment, traversing the country with Hearther Rae, from In Search of Squid. Even though its only been a little more than a week, it seems more like we have been here for closer to 3 to 4 weeks. Time moves so much more slowly here and by 7pm the sun is down and its already dark. You're ready to turn in thinking that its already been a late night. In only 10 days, we have done so much and covered so much ground. We're adding in Belize to the itenerary and Heather will finish up in Utila, an island of Honduras. I'm considering Panama and another 3 weeks somewhere.

Bridge to El Portel at Semac Champey

Week one started out with 2 nights in Antigua and a long shuttle bus (minivans) and boat ride out to Lake Atitlan. These busses can be really packed to capacity and sometimes even more to capacity. And these guys drive like they are hoping to get picked up by a NASCAR scout or something. Lake Atitlan was a gorgeous place. We stayed on the Santa Cruz side of the lake at Islaverde Hotel. Can't say I was all that excited about the place. I was thrilled at being there, but the accomodations weren't as we hoped. In a nutshell, the place was simply overpriced. Excellent food, though. But we paid hotel prices for hostel accomodations. We'd planned on 4 nights there but only spent 2. And that's the cool thing. There's no obilgation to stay. I don't have a strict time-table that I have to regulate my travels according to a clock. This place didn't work out, so we left. On the other hand, we did hike over to Casa del Mundo. THAT place was cool. Nice views and plush accomodations for the same dog gone price of Islaverde. We tried to do out last few nights there but they were booked solid. I will be back at Atitlan and Casa del Mundo will be my spot.

Temple 1 at Tikal, Guatemala

Next was off to Semac Champey. That was another shuttle bus ride out into NOWHERE! We were deep in the jungle on winding roads, that you can only make with 4-wheel drive. This is where you got to see some of the poorest areas of the country. Very simplistic living on dirt floors. As we passed, some of the locals would just stare at you with blank faces and others were more cordial. Many of the kids definitely liked seeing us pass by. I began to wonder how they felt about us being there. Yes, the tourism is a big part of their local economy, but is there too much of it? Many of the blank faces came from the elderly. Maybe they know what its like when the tourism slows or even halts. Vegas is very much like this and we know we've got to stimulate our economy in a way that isn't so heavily dependent on tourism or any one thing. The same thing happens in the towns near military bases when the soldiers are deployed for extended periods of time.

My cabin at Chal Tun Ha. MUST get a model here!!

We stayed at the El Portal Hotel which is right next to Semuc Champay which has some of the most goreous pools you'll ever see. The day was complete with caving (by candlelight) and tubing down th river. I hate taking touristy pictures, but there was not getting around it here. Its almost like being challenged to come up with different angles in Disneyland. We got there early in the morning, but by the time we returned from our adventure down the river, the main pools were crowded and packed with people. I've met some great people and made some new friends. You see faces from everywhere on these travel escapades. I've started a portrait series based on who I meet while I'm here. I'm off to a great start.

Presently, we are on our 4th day at Chal Tun Ha Hostel in San Miguel, near Flores, Guatemala. This is the best location I've stayed in and I will come back here within the year just to be in this place. I'll bring a model with me of course, but this place is tops. Its run by Neil and his wife and you definitely get the low down on the local hot spots, cultural history, and travel tips. If we can get out of here without Heather absconding with the man's dog, I'll leave here with a clear conscience. She's in love with "Co-co", the Chihuahua  whom she calls "Loco".

More later. Currently figuring out how to work the transpo to Belize and Utila. These pics are snapshots I took with my waterproof camera. The best shots won't be available til I get back and can edit them.

Naked Faeries

Model Faerie, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

"a pretty girl who is naked / is worth a million statues"

- e. e. cummings

Model Faerie, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

I love me some naked faeries. Actually, I only know one, and its good to get back to shooting Faerie. Its been a long time since I've had her in my sights and we've been able to finally make it happen. Just as gorgeous as ever, I don't think anybody can say one bad thing about this woman, but even on the inside, she a good girl, a great mom and wife, and she's got a beautiful outlook on life. I could definitely say she's a great model not only for me, but she's a great model of a human being worthy of emulation by many young women out there today. The main goal was to work her into some of my Art Nude Ball of Light work. She'd seen some of my earlier attempts and her husband likes them too. After not doing them for a year, it took a bit to make the adjustments, but I have found a way to perfect my sphere-building spin and rotation. It was more towards the end of our session that I began to get better, so we have some more work to do. And of course there are a LOT more images from our shoot last weekend, but I'm only going to get to a few before my adventure down South.

Model Faerie, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

Which brings me to another point. I'm thinking I'm going to start another blog to showcase my travel and adventure work. I know you're thinking I can barely keep tabs on this one, but I am sincerely giving this some thought. The only question is when I'll start it, because I ultimately want to have this thing going when I am more permanently on the road and traveling on a more regular basis for extended periods of time. Granted, this Central America stunt that I'm doing will be for a little while, but I'm talking about doing this as a life-style. That's when I truly want to begin a new chapter of writing. In fact, I think I'm going to take an online course in writing from Matador U. I was thinking about doing their photography class as well, but I think I'll switch to their film maker's course and just work with the two of those. I can't wait to get started. 

Model Faerie, © 2012 Terrell Neasley

The thing I like about all this is that, at the beginning of the year, as I'm laid up in the bed, this is all just a dream. Well now, its about to happen and I'm excited about that fact. Imagine it, plan it, do it. That's they way I want my thought process to evolve. Spending so much time in bed leaves you with nothing but imagination and with a little concentration, you can start planning everything out. Of course this one was pretty easy. All I have to do is follow Heather Rae. She's got the itinerary and beyond that, I don't really care. She's the subject. Whatever it is she's doing, I simply follow and record it. But beyond that, she's been very inspiring as I mentioned in the last post. My tasking is to simply get all the needed gear, learn more about video, and get the audio equipment I'll need to accompany me and I've done that. I have a few adjustments to make but all in all, I'm just about ready. I'll be learning on the fly, but thankfully we have enough time to get it down. The first week will be chill week anyway, so I'll be able to read up on the manuals and maybe we'll have wifi or internet connections and I can do some tutorials online. The Glidecam HD-2000 is giving me problems with the weight. Its tough to balance, but the thing may be too heavy for my needs. I can read a book on the Zoom H4N audio recorder and my on-camera Sennheiser should be easy enough. With that, you just plug in and go. This is going to be so much fun. I enjoy learning new things and am used to trial by fire from my military days.

Stay tuned... 

Catching Up

Model Faerie, © 2008 Terrell Neasley

Sometimes I like to go over previous posts, especially the ones where I talk about future prospects and see if I've stayed true to some of the things I discuss and plan for. I'll give myself a partial excuse in that I only started back to work shooting in May and its been a madhouse here to catch up with projects and prep for my travel to Central America which is now right around the corner. I've decided to not alter those plans and actually launch myself full force into it. So lets see:

Most of everything between January and March was on my recovery from knee surgery. There was not shooting going on, but I did talk about changes and things I wanted to do differently. I touched on it more in the months soon after this. I spoke on focusing on portraiture and self-portraits. I sincerely want to perfect both. In particular, I want to do more of the color portrait. I'm so much more comfortable with Black and White portraiture work. I want to get better at it, but its still a genre within my comfort zone. COLOR portraiture, however is still outside the box for me. Most B&W enthusiasts might refer to color as a distraction in the portrait. I can't say I totally subscribe to that notion. Its just another form of expression.

Model Faerie, © 2008 Terrell Neasley

I talked about embracing change and taking on challenges as they come with fervor instead of disdain. As I mentioned previously, I want to expand beyond my own comfort zone. I've revamped my business plan and goals. Central America will be the start of something new for me. Video production will be a challenge as I learn on the fly. I've switched from Canon gear to Nikon as my primary gear of choice. I still have some Canon stuff, but since the 36 megapixel Nikon D800E was released, I felt I had to make that change. During my recovery time, I kept feeling like I wanted more depth in my images and was considering medium format. Canon's new 5D Mark III was not going to take me where I wanted to go and was not a significant upgrade from my 5D Mark 2. I became even more convinced medium format was the way for me. When Nikon released the D800, I was initially skeptical. I saw it as a ploy to restart the megapixel war again and draw attention from Canon. But then I started looking more at the reviews and a few friends of mine who own the camera showed me work from it. Eventually, I got to shoot with it myself and probably within just a few weeks, I knew I had to have it. This will hopefully be an alternative to medium format with the significantly reduced cost and far less weight at a time when I need to take the pressure of my knees. I ended up with the Nikon D800E, instead of the standard D800.

Model Faerie, © 2008 Terrell Neasley

So along with some new audio gear, I'm heading to Guatemala and Honduras to follow Heather Rae around the jungles and record her excursions, escapades, and adventures as she travels. She's an experienced traveler/writer and you can catch her on her blog, In Search of Squid, (there's a story behind that title) which fabulously documents a new lifestyle of travel and tries to do more promotion of how easy, fun, and rewarding traveling can be. Its right in line of my thinking on the matter which is why we work well together in this regard. She's definitely one of the most inspiring people I've come across in the last 5 years of being in Las Vegas and as a school teacher, educating and encouraging youths is second nature to her. So it was rather fortuitous that I met her and now we've collaborated to see what our combined efforts can produce. If you've ever wondered what a ball of fire inside a woman would look like, check out her blog and track her most recent excursions. I'm telling you, its as if she has a spinning inner core made of molten nickel and iron because she generates her own magnetic field. She's got that much energy locked up in a tiny petite frame. I'll be happy to be able to keep up with her. This entire adventure is being planned out by her and I'm just tagging along for the ride. But my plans extend a little further than her's. I'll be staying down there a little while longer after she leaves Central America. I have no idea just yet as to what I'll be doing, but I'm certainly open to suggestions for any of you who know of little-known "must-see or must-do" stuff in Central America. I was thinking of skipping over to Belize, but I could also backtrack through Guatemala or do some of the mainland Honduras treks, as most of our escapades will be on the island of Utila just off the coast.

Remember Faerie, well, I just spent the weekend shooting her and will update with some of the new edits soon. Til then, enjoy some of these shots of her from a few years ago.

Model Faerie, © 2008 Terrell Neasley

Black and White Spider Awards

2nd Place Finish, Abstract Category - Professionals,  7th Annual Black and White Spider Awards © 2010 Terrell Neasley

"Winning isn't everything, but it beats anything in second place."

- William C. Bryant

Contest results are finally in for the Black and White Spider Awards, a very popular international photography contest for black and white photographic artwork. After a six month wait, I found out that I took 2nd place (Merit of Excellence Award) in the Abstract Category for Professionals. I also took Honorable Mention in the Nude Category for Professionals. This is my second time in a row coming in second in a category, but I did better this time in the Nude category. If you recall, last November I posted the announcement of a 2nd Place finish as well as 2 Nonimee spots, one of which was in the Nude Category. That was for the 5th Annual Photography Masters Cup (for Color Photography) produced by the same people. So again, a 2nd place finish (Americana Category), a Nominee for Nudes and also a Nominee again for the Americana Category.

I can't say I'm disappointed, but I've also never been exuberant about 2nd place. The one thing I will concede is getting Honorable Mentioned for my nude work which is one step up from Nominee! If you take a look at all the work that got nominated, you'll see that therein lies some stiff competition. So to be recognized at all is "honorable". The nude is by far my main, favorite, and most passionable subject matter to photograph. If I were to win anywhere, I'd want to win for my nude work. Yet still, I've never looked at my work in that regard as being incredibly worthy of note. As long as I like it and my model likes it, I'm good to go. Being recognized and evaluated by such esteemed professionals of the trade against participants from all over the world was never anything I every really thought I'd measure up against.

Honorable Mention, Nude Category - Professionals,
7th Annual Black and White Spider Awards © 2010 Terrell Neasley 

"The first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell." 

- Andrew Carnegie

But also, I think you have to consider what you actually get from photo competitions with your entries. Both the Spider Awards and the Photography Masters Cup are huge and the recognition is fabulous. But what are the spoils of such achievements? There were over 83,000 entries in the Photography Master's Cup last year and the entry fees are $35 a pop. Granted that costs decreases if you enter more images, but when you consider how much money is made...wow. You're looking at more than $2 million just in entry fees if you average $25 per image. So here is what I get:

2ND PLACE WINNERS (Merit of Excellence)

Recipient of the title award "Merit of Excellence"

Publication in The PHOTO PAPER Magazine (print edition)

Featured in movie presented by World Photographic Arts Films

Showcased at the online Winners Gallery

International press campaign and exposure

Right now, bragging rights is the main take-home from something like this. The only other pay-off might come in the form of some lucrative deal made as of a result of being published in the magazine honoring the winners. So I'll have to let you know if someone comes a'calling, as of a result of seeing one of my shots in the magazine. As far as I know, a title award doesn't come with a cash prize or a new camera. It does feel good to be recognized for one's work. And I thank Joanie for the use of her boobs to create something masterful for my Abstract image. I guess when you actually think about it, I did get a 2nd place finish for a nude! And I appreciate the Dean Koontz reader  in the second shot (who has chosen to remain anonymous) for her help as well.

Objective: Travel

Art Model, Viki Vegas © 2011 Terrell Neasley

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” 

– Rudyard Kipling

Despite the fact that I got a late start for the year, all still looks promising. Getting back in the mix after being laid up from 5 months of recovery from knee surgery sure has felt good. I still have a long ways to go, there's no doubt about that. At least I'm busy. Almost too busy, in fact. May has been absolutely crazy as far as months go. Its been hard to even think straight, but I've hung in there quite well. I'm just now getting some breathing room and tightening up my head-space and timing. Holla if you know what that is...

Art Model, Viki Vegas
© 2011 Terrell Neasley 

This late start has yet to impede my adamant plans to do some traveling for a while in Central America this summer. Yeah, this kid is heading out for a while. How long? I don't know yet, but at least clock me out for a month. You get to do an awful lot of thinking when you're restricted to the bed for so long. And I've decided to do some things a little differently for a while. It starts with Guatemala. I'll mosey around Honduras, and finish up  in Belize. Did I say finish? Well, I'll be back temporarily in the states, but folks my goal is to hit the road for a while. How long is a while? Who knows. I can't say. Hell, I can't even say how I'm going to make all this happen. Let's just say that it needs to be done and leave it at that. I'll work out the details later. As for now, the concentration is on Guatemala. This is happening.

What exactly will I be doing? Following a crazy white girl around the jungle and taking pictures, in a nutshell. I can't say I'm all that enthused about EVERYTHING in her itinerary. Home-girl is talking about swimming with sharks. Now I know that I can't have the same imagination in my head to match up with hers. The girl's crazy, but she's not stupid. This is what's in >>MY HEAD<<. And this is more than likely what's in >>HER HEAD<<. I'm hoping she's the one who's right in this. Of the entire trip, these thought are most prevalent. But I'm sure when I get back, I'll have pics and stories of a great time having grand adventures. I've still got to do a better job of learning video on my cameras. I'll be getting an external mike for better audio, that's for sure, but I don't need much else that I don't already have. I'll be making a documentary on this excursion and I think it'll be fun. Totally experimental, but fun.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.” 

– Mark Twain

Art Model, Viki Vegas © 2011 Terrell Neasley

If everything goes right, I'll be starting up a new blog that deals primarily with travel and will detail my adventures as I go globetrotting. I'm excited about what's ahead and if I do it right, well...lets just say this is going to be fun and a definite adventure. Can't wait to get the travel blog up and running with lots of content for your guys. You're going to love it!

Here are some newly edited shots of Art Model Viki Vegas, from last summer.


“Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” 
– Mark Jenkins