11 February 2012

See it in FULL LIFE

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

I guess I will have to ask for your forgiveness and apologize for that rant in the last post. I'm myself and again and once more have full and sole retention of my cognitive faculties. I'm a very passionate person. I've got my own goals and aspirations as well as problems and challenges. But pain, as I so eloquently put it in the last post, can be a bitch. That's what makes torture so long-lived.

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu

I'm still in the same predicament, only the agonizing, debilitating pain has become less pronounced. A good analogy might be that I've been thrown back into my prison cell after cruel attempts to "get me to talk". I'm still limited in my mobility and have to really concentrate on taking it easy for a bit longer. So I try not to go anywhere unless I absolutely have to. All this past week, I left the house twice. I think I shall go visit my pals at B&C Camera and talk photography and gear with some of the regulars. It'll be good to see Joe and the crew again. Outside of that, I'll root myself again in my computer chair and bed.

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

But this is still all for the best. I had this surgery because I hated dealing with the aching pain and weakness that interfered with my ability to live life to the fullest. I talked about this last April in a post, describing how I had met with a doctor who felt he could refer me to an Orthopedist with some answers to get me back on the trails and to eventually start up on the Appalachian Trail. So now, I'm at least getting started on that fix. I've had the surgery. Now I just need to let it heal. Plans are in place to take me abroad later this year, which will be the first of many quests that I set out on, not to "find myself", but rather just to start living life to the fullest. That may mean different things to different people. For me, it means to experience other cultures and see new lands. As a kid, I hardly ever left a 200 mile circumference from my home in East Texas. I used to wonder what might lie beyond in other countries and relied on the TV and World Book Encyclopedia to show me. As good as those sources were, I learned from my military travels that they just didn't do it justice.

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

My first military tour of duty was Germany. Spend 18 years with 200 miles of one place in Texas and then you find yourself on the far side of the Atlantic. It was glorious. I don't recall exactly what church it was, but I remember looking at a building in either Mainz or Frankfurt that I could recall from pictures from school studies. And now, I was standing in front of it looking at it in full LIFE. Being a photographer now, my desire to see more things in full life has taken its toll on my future agendas. Everything I do now is in preparation for that. I hope to become a better photographer and also one who is more fulfilled in his work. Those of you who can't, won't, or don't believe you too can do this can live vicariously through me. I'll be blogging and posting pics of my experiences and escapades. I can't wait. Its what keeps me going while I am incarcerated waiting to heal fully.


Anonymous said...

Never ever apologise for ranting. It's healthy to vent! I know what it's like to be incarcerated due to health issues, so you have my profound sympathy. I'm the world's worst patient, and for the record I think you are coping incredibly well with your recovery.

Keeping an outdoors photographer inside is like suddenly caging a wild lion. They pace the cage endlessly (figuratively speaking), they go crazy to get out. But this will pass - and then you will be free to roam again.

All the best,


Photo Anthems.com said...

Wow, Lin. That really helps my perspective. And I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before, but I need to consult with you and some of my other friends abroad on some ideas I have about heading to back overseas. Thanks for your encouragement!

unbearable lightness said...

If it's any consolation, dear T, you are not alone. Since October, two of the photographers I work with most often have faced painful surgeries with long recuperation periods. In October, Peter Le Grand had a serious surgery. We worked together in the months before the surgery, and he was in terrible pain then. He could hardly walk and getting down on his knees for the money shot was excruciating for him. During his recovery, he edited pictures and then slowly began to shoot nudes on his rooftop.

When I heard from him over the holidays, he was drinking wine in Amsterdam!!! We plan a shoot when spring comes (now it's hard to plan because of the unpredictable weather of the snow belt, although it hasn't been a bad winter).

In a few days, my dear friend and constant photographer Steve Brown will get a hip replacement. I have some idea what's ahead for him, but he needs a walker to get around now, so how can the recovery be worse?

I know the recovery seems eternal, but it isn't. Much, much better days are ahead!

Big hugs and hang in there xxoo

Photo Anthems.com said...

That's what I keep trying to tell myself, UL. Its not eternal, but its like watching grass grow. I'll get over it. I know its a good thing and I'll be all the better for it. Plus, like I've mentioned, I'm using the time to be a better photographer.

unbearable lightness said...

Thinking of you :-)