27 April 2010

...And This I Shall Do




"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he had imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
--- Henry David Thoreau 1817



The biggest news for me right now is that, as of last week, I became a grand dad. I've been asked if I began fathering children at the age of 13, but such is not the case. I was 19 when my son was born and my daughter came into existence a few years later. My daughter became a mom at an age older than I became a dad, so no, she wasn't just out of puberty either. I was young but I was not that young and neither are my kids. I'll get my own pics soon enough, but it bothers me to no end that I was not there for my grand-daughter's birth. My son-in-law's mother is getting plenty enough shots of the baby, who was born a very healthy and big red-head baby. I envy her greatly for her presence there but I am thankful as well. I'll be there soon enough, but I was present for both my kid's premiers and I'd have liked for it to have been no different for my grand-kid's world debut. Its just not easy scheduling a flight on a due date and rightly so, since she was a week late. So yes, I am a grand dad to a beautiful 8lb, 2oz, 20in baby girl. She shall call me Big Daddy T. Gramps just didn't seem fitting for me.





I got to sit out on my patio this evening and stare at a full moon while sippin' on a cup of Joe. Actually my coffee is always pretty sweet so maybe I should say sippin' on a cup of Joanna. This gave me a moment away from my computer to contemplate things in my life, from the challenges, the surprises, the dramas, and the also the blessings. Right now it seems like the blessings are on short supply, but I tend to weather most storms fairly well. One thing that has the heart aching a bit is a surprise from a friend I thought to be lost to me only to hear the return has some agony with it. My elation was quickly deflated when I learned that this friend is at extreme odds with another person also dear to me. Between the two, all is lost where a once admirable and flourishing relationship existed. Its almost analogous to a marriage. You are equally friends with both husband and wife and they suddenly divorce. And then it gets ugly. Its hard to talk about his and remain vague at the same time, but I don't wish to convey details when I have no real understanding of behind the scenes. I do know that steps were taken that has made the relationship irreconcilable and more harm and negative consequences may ensue. I know what love is and right now, I'm not seeing it. And it sux.I grieve for them all.




So I shall concentrate on what I can that's a bit more positive. I'll console where I can and give a shoulder as necessary. Mine are quite knobby and may be uncomfortable, but they are nonetheless supportive and sure. In the meanwhile, my focus lies with my grand daughter, my photo business, and my own emotional and physical well being. I've mentioned before about an inability to focus. Well, I'm still trying to get better at that. I have relationships right here in Las Vegas that need attending to. I need to be a better friend. I need to be better at practicing my own faith and living as according to my own values and beliefs. I need to get healthier, if for no other reason than because I'm not yet ready to let my son beat me at anything. He'll have his day, but not yet. May is going to be an interesting month. I've got to be prepared for it and engage it with the kind of enthusiasm that is more befitting my natural self; and this I shall do.

I hadn't worked with model, Melissa in a while. These are older shots that I've either re-edited or visited for the first time. Where have you been girl?

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